The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/09/06
A lovely and wonderful respite. What a nice story of the joining of the cultures, and a clear direction for the characters to take as the story ends. Very nice!
09/11/06
What I like - the content was very good. I liked the voice.
What I might change - some of your sentences could be shortened or reworked and your quotations need to be corrected a few places.
I did enjoy your style. You described the setting nicely!
This is a very good story. I can easily see the laundry, and the word pictures you portray. I have only one critique. Watch word similarities. Wondering, should be wandering. Also watch your commas. You have a few misplaced. I hope you can free those people from the bondage of sorcery.