That night the storm raged on like a vicious beast. The winds howled, the waves pounded the boat rocking in back and forth like a cradle. We held on to anything within reach, huddling together as children often do in fear. Our eyes scanned the horizon searching for something, anything, someone. Our eyes were searching for Him.
The man who hours before fed a crowd of five thousand with a young boy's lunch, five loaves of bread and two small fish. The man who healed the sick from incurable diseases, who made the lame walk and the blind see. The man who surrounded himself with the suffering and fearful. Tonight that was us, twelve scared and uncertain men, wondering where he was. To some he was just another Great Teacher, to some just another man from Nazareth but to me he was more, he was the Jesus the Christ, the long awaited Messiah. Tonight I was unsure as my faith faltered with the waves, rocking back and forth.
Just days ago I stood at a top mountain top with James and John, seeing Jesus revealed in his true glory. The image itself is still so indescribable. It was revealed to me by God, that this truly was His Son. Tonight I, Simeon Peter, the man with a bull's rage and a fierce loyalty cowered on a boat overcome with fear and hopelessness. How could he abandon us when we needed him most?
My eyes scanned the water once again, a shred of hope still exsisted that he would come. On the horizon a ghastly, white image appeared. It appeared to draw closer and closer but suddenly stopped several feet from our boat. My eyes blinked, doing a double take... wait it was Him. He had come, we weren't alone. He would calm this storm again as he had done so before.
"It's a ghost," I heard someone shout.
The comforting voice of the Lord filled our thoughts," Take courage. It is I. Do not be afraid."
My first instinct was to rush toward him, all that stood between us was a vastness of deep water.
"Lord if it's you," I cried. "Tell me to come to you on the water."
He called. I went. My eyes fixed to his face, his eyes that filled with love. To his hand outstretched waiting from me to arrive. I began to walk, feeling almost as if I was gliding on air. As along as my eyes focused on him all fear and doubt were removed. But a gust a wind passed by my face, I lost all focus, my eyes wandered and I began to sink. "Lord save me."
Jesus reached out and took hold of my hand. "You of little faith. Why did you doubt?" His eyes reflected a look of pain and grief. Ashamed I looked away I didn't know what to tell him, I couldn't answer.
My human emotions of fear and doubt, overwhelmed the small of faith I clung too. I was frozen by fear and held back by doubt. I lacked the faith to walk toward Jesus, knowing he was right there with me. I lacked the faith in his ability to protect and keep me from drowning.
But for a moment to held faith to walk on water and look into the eyes of my Savior. To take a step closer to Him and a step away from the man I once was. Eventually I would deny the Lord completely and abandon him in his greatest time of suffering. He would still welcome me back to his family and I would become the Rock upon which His Church would be built upon.
Perhaps the best lesson learned is just as we weather storms at sea, we'll weather storms in life but always remember no matter how much fear and doubt you hold, Christ is holding his hand out waiting for you to take hold. Life isn't meant to be a walk on water but just remember you never walk alone.
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