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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: First (as in original) (01/10/05)

TITLE: My First Draft
By Wayne Thomson
01/10/05


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This is my first draft
It contains several lines
Maybe I'll add a pun or two
But I'll have to wait and see
These things, writing like this
It takes time and
Not much stress on my mind
It either comes to me or
It simply fades like my jeans
Each thought a conspiracy
Against my own knowledge of facts

I could start in World War I
And end with Noah packing his vessel
And somewhere in the middle
I hear Louis Líamour
Telling me of the west, the sea
Of life and learning and reading
But itís just a dream
Giving way to thoughts
That wishes to be written on their own accord
Or maybe written with an accordion

Perhaps giant robots like Optimus Prime
Invade my subconscious to fight off evil cowboys
Those who became outlaws of the west, of the Union
And perhaps then, Rick Hunter should fly in
With his Veritech fighter
Max Sterling, Ben Dixon, and of course Roy Fokker
Greatest pilots of the Earth Defense Force
Coming to save me from some evil greater than the Zentraedi
For reasons I cannot logically comprehend
It all fades once more, first like my jeans
Then like an old photograph
Until soon, itís gone and the sun shines through my window
And then my fingers begin, telling that familiar but original story

I wrote this simple first draft, knowing it to be full of errors
But that is what it is for, to learn from
To expand on, or decrease in lines
What should you expect from something so far fetched as my own dreams?
It may not be my best, but simply my first
My first Draft


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This article has been read 873 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Norma OGrady01/17/05
It either comes to me or
It simply fades like my jeans
I laughed out loud when I read this..It holds true for me too...
For the best we strive.
Yeshua bless
Norma
darlene hight01/17/05
Great entry! Very creative!
L.M. Lee01/17/05
Clever! What a neat way to approach the subject.
Angie Schulte01/17/05
An original concept here! I enjoyed reading it very much! Thanks...angie
Sally Hanan01/19/05
A nice piece of writing.
Kathy Cartee01/20/05
I love this very creative

Keep up the good work
Lynne Gaunt01/20/05
It simply fades like my jeans...
Ah yes, what writer has never been in that situation? Nice job.
Debbie OConnor01/20/05
Great fun here. You made me laugh. Terrific way to accomplish "first (as in original)!"
adelina tomino01/21/05
wonderful. i like this. be blessed more. adelina
Deborah Anderson01/22/05
Errors or not, I really enjoyed this as well as your style of writing. Keep up the good work. God bless you.
Deborah Porter 01/24/05
Wayne, congratulations on your Highly Commended award for Level 1 in the Champion Challenge. There were a lot of entries in this level and this Highly Commended placing is a real credit to you. Keep writing and rising to the Challenge! With love, Deb (Challenge Co-ordinator)