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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Leadership (03/14/05)

TITLE: Through my father's eyes....
By kazza walton
03/15/05


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I had gone to my father and asked for his plans for the year, as was my habit.
“Youth Leadership” was what the lord said.
“Me, surely you jest? It’s some sort of test? Like Abraham, your not serious”
my heart cried.
When god told me of his plans that year I can tell you I was far from sure.
All my old insecurities rose up like a flood.
What could an overweight, 40 year old, mother of five, have to offer to the youth of this day?
And so that Sunday I sat in my usual place (Hugging the back wall) and looked at the youth of my church.
To me they seemed secure, confident, and affluent, in their billabong jeans and valley girl dresses.
So different from my own teen years.
This only seemed to reinforce all the reasons why they didn’t need me.
So I asked the lord again for his plans and his answered remained the same.
“Why me?” I asked. “What could I possibly bring to these kids”?
“Lord you know I am not leadership material at all, more of a follower than a leader.”
I have been know to debate with god over things in the past…
I could feel real sympathy with Moses about now. {When god told him to go to pharaoh and he listed all his really good reason why he wasn’t the man for the job.}
I had a stack of really good reasons why I wasn’t the woman for the job.
Then god replayed my life for me.
He reminded me that I had walked the road of rebellion as well as having a rebellious son. I had seen both sides of the fence.
He showed me the times of affliction when my faith had been refined.
I know what it is to be healthy as well as sick.
I was an isolated and insecure teenager, now loved and secure as an adult.
I had a poor childhood and knew the hurts of not having the right clothing and things and feeling unexcepted because of this.
More recently my times of motherhood, where giving of yourself goes with the job.
How I have learned to be patient and that it has it limits too..
How daily I am learning what it is to trust in god and run to him with all my problems.(Some lessons I seem to have to go over and over }

For all those who like an ending to the story, yes I did do youth leadership for a time.
It wasn’t as scary as I had thought and those kids have all the same sorts of problems as i did years ago. THe main thing i need to learn is too see myself through my fathers eyes.


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Member Comments
Member Date
donna robinson03/22/05
Indeed, I know the feelings you speak here. Isn't it amazing how God can lead those of us who are insecure in our own abilities? I loved the voice in this story; the way you played back the arguments and the answers.
Delores Baber03/23/05
Great piece. The Lord has allowed the experiences in our life to be put to use in helping [leading] others. Who makes the best leader but one who understands the feelings and needs of those he/she leads? II Corinthians 1:3,4 First we are given experiences which gives us the experience we need to help others coming after us. Thanks.
Amy Prince03/24/05
Don't we all need to learn to see ourselves in our Father's eyes?- I know He's constantly at work in me on that very issue because I regress so easily! I enjoyed reading what you had to say, your definatly not alone- it just goes to show when God calls us, He enables us.