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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)

TITLE: How Fish Saved My Life
By Allison Egley
08/22/06


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As I stood there, I didn’t even question why. Judging by the faces around me, everyone was wondering the same thing. No one seemed to know. As much as I wanted to look away, I found my eyes were fixed on the hill. My mom patted me on the shoulder and left, telling me to take my time. She knew how this man had influenced my life. He performed a miracle in me. He didn’t restore my sight, or make me walk again. His miracle in me was more subtle. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Peter. The look in his eyes told me everything would be ok, but I didn’t believe him.

***********

Nothing was going well. My siblings were getting on my last nerve, my parents were pestering me, and I felt certain no one cared about me; no one would care if I were gone. At my young age, I shouldn’t have had this attitude, but I couldn’t control it.

That day, I was going to end it all. As I left home, I took some food, just to spite my mother. I knew she had been saving it, and I wanted her to notice I was gone.

As I was walking, I heard Jesus speaking. I laughed at the absurdity of His preaching. Then, I heard the disciples discussing how they would ever feed all these people. I walked up with my basket and handed Jesus my prize from that morning: five loaves of bread and two fish.

I put on a falsely sweet voice and said, “Here Mr. Jesus, Sir. Maybe this will help.”

I was convinced He would rumple my hair and say, “No thanks.” That would have confirmed my belief that I wasn’t wanted and no one cared for me. He didn’t brush me away. He took my basket of food. I thought He would use the food to feed just His disciples and Himself, so He wouldn’t reject my gift. He didn’t. He blessed the food, and it multiplied! There was enough food for everyone there, probably five-thousand men alone! I knew at that moment Jesus was the Messiah. Something changed in me. Most people think the miracle that day was feeding the five-thousand. That wasn’t the only miracle. He took my food, taken and given in spite, and used it! He could have called down from heaven, and there would have been food. He used five loaves of bread and two fish. He used me!

I ran home, confessing what I had done, and that there would be no special dinner tonight. I explained why I had taken it.

My mom held me close as she cried, telling me, “I love you. You matter to me.”

I told her what Jesus did with the food, and she started crying again, this time tears of happiness. Jesus saved her son.

*************

I was brought back to the present when I heard Jesus cry out “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.” With that, He breathed His last. I slumped forward as the realization hit me. I was so confident He would save Himself from the cross! Now the Miracle Worker was dead. Dead miracle workers can’t do much work. I turned around, and Peter was still standing there with his hand on my shoulder. He must have remembered me. I looked up at him, and he looked into my eyes, squeezed my hand, and said “Let’s get you home, Simeon.” We walked hand in hand, and my mother was standing at the door. I ran into her arms and we both wept for what the world had lost.

*************

I awoke that Sabbath morning to hear people singing and shouting. Wondering how anyone could be happy on a day like this, I ran to the window and shouted, “Don’t you know what just happened? How can you be happy?”

One of the women in the crowed turned to me and said, “Didn’t you hear? He’s alive! Jesus is alive!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I ran out of the house as fast as I could, still wearing my nightclothes. I didn’t believe them at first, but then I saw Him! He smiled at me and held out His arms. I ran to Him and cried.

“Simeon, Simeon, Simeon,” He said as He stroked my hair. Knowing my thoughts after His death, Jesus replied, “It’s ok. Miracle Workers don’t have to be alive to work.”


*****************
Author’s Notes:
Taken from John 6:1-14, and Luke 24:43


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This article has been read 896 times
Member Comments
Member Date
TINA GARTON08/26/06
i enjoyed this.
Patrick Oden08/27/06
wonderful expression of emotions, that put us into the stories we are so often viewing from a distance.

Maybe, however, you are doing too much in this short space. I think each little section is a gem, together they feel a little disjointed. Your writing is very evocative, only I feel like you tried to wrap your arms around something far too broad for 750 words.
Joanne Sher 08/27/06
Great title - and a very neat story! A different perspective than I'd ever considered for the boy and the lunch - but very thought-provoking! I love when a story makes me consider something completely different, and it blesses me! Thanks for doing just that!
Jan Ackerson 08/28/06
I like the glimpse into this usually-anonymous boy's spirit. A few things jar, though, particularly anachronisms like "on my last nerve."

You really gave him a distinct personality--nice touch.
Ann FitzHenry08/28/06
I really liked this. The title was very intriguing. Good job telling a story from a different perspective. See you intermediates! :-)
Philip Barnes08/28/06
Good luck in Intermediate. I enjoyed this story as well. You might remember that you are writing a period peice when you do this. Some modern emotions might not play back then. (Also Jesus did not raise on the Sabbath, he raised on Sunday the day after the Sabbath). But those are small things compared to the great work you did in telling this story. I agree that it could be made into a very compelling longer story.
Trina Courtenay08/28/06
I liked your POV! Can't wait to see you in level 2.
Joanne Malley08/28/06
I enjoyed being brought back in time and to see Jesus' important work on the cross through the eyes and words of the boy. An important reminder that every life is precious despite one's own thoughts of feeling unimportant. Good job!
Crista Darr09/11/06
Allison, this is very creative. Good work with your first-person POV. My only suggestion is for your ending. Jesus is alive! Maybe you could say something about death being swallowed up in victory. Even the grave couldn't hold him. Something like that. Still, a very good story with a wonderful message of hope!