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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)

TITLE: upon that sacred hill
By belinda belinda
08/18/06


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The sun was setting in the sky, the wind it bared a chill,
Three planks of wood arose and stood upon a sacred hill,
The sky was growing darker, the lights they all went out,
Through the gloom and darkness three figures you could count,
They hung dead and lifeless, upon three wooden crosses,
While others stood and stared, dumbfounded by their losses,

They pondered, all perplexed by what had just occurred,
And how this man the middle one, had died, it was absurd,
The man had been arrested, tried and sentenced to be killed,
Beaten, bashed and mocked was he a prophecy fulfilled,
His arms were held on bits of wood and nailed into place,
He didnít scream or protest, or defend his blameless case,

They held him up, exalted; exalted into shame,
They screamed at him and jeered, mocking at his pain,
Upon the cross he bore my sin, sitting on his shoulders,
And ashamed, I hear my voice call out among the scoffers,
Those nails, driven in his hands; them, they bore my name,
But he; he took them to the cross, baring all my shame,

The sun was setting in the sky, the wind it bared a chill,
The king of kings was killed for me, upon a sacred hill.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/27/06
WOW - I especially love the final couplet. I really enjoyed this - excellent images!
Marijo Phelps11/09/10
I think this is a powerful and insightful piece - I could feel the wind! I hope to read more of your work very soon. Thanks for your e-mail to me too Belinda! Hope you put in your biography too.
Judy Wilson11/09/10
You did a wonderful job of describing the sacrifice the Lord made for us. Welcome to FaithWriters and keep writing !
Verna Mull11/10/10
WOW, what a powerful poem. It really tore at my heart to meditate on all that Jesus has done for us. A great job of rhyming. That is my favorite kind of poetry. To me, it stirs my heart more than the modern prose-poetry. Great job. Let's have some more!
Teresa Ortiz11/11/10
Hello Belinda. WOW! What a powerfully moving poem.

I cannot wait to read more from you.

On a technical note:

The commas tend to take away from the moment of pause at each concluding thought. I would remove the commas and place periods at the end of a thought. I believe it gives a lot more power to your words.

Just my two little cents. Blessings to you! I am so glad Marijo led me to this poem.