The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/24/06
Beautiful!
08/24/06
Very powerful - and what an exercise! Watch for run-on sentences. Thanks for writing!
08/28/06
Very nice! I felt the "passion" of the Old Rugged Cross!

A suggestion: Start your story with short and to-the-point sentences. Your entire first paragraph was one sentence. You'll grab your reader's attention if you can give them little chunks to chew on while you lure them deeper into your story.

You're a good writer! I look forward to reading more from you! :)
This is powerful.

As others have said ther was a little bit of run on sentence / punctuation issues. But a great story.

Very good job.