The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/17/06
What a strong faith you have, and what a positive attitude! Good job!

Work on sentence structure a bit--you have some run-ons and some fragments that, if edited, would make your piece more readable.

This essay was encouraging to read.
08/21/06
Good thoughts here, but the presentation of them is a little 'scattershot.'

Try reading each sentence aloud to yourself. That will probably help you with punctuation and knowing when to split up a sentence into two separate sentences.

Keep writing, too, as often as you can--that also helps with sentence flow.
08/23/06
Great thoughts and sentiments here. There were a few parts I had to re-read, because the sentences didn't flow well. As others have said, work on punctuation and sentience structure a bit, and it will be a very enjoyable read. I could identify with not having a job and not know the "Who, what, where, when, and why" because I am going through the exact same thing right now.