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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Valley (08/10/06)

TITLE: Stuck in Traffic
By D. Phenes
08/11/06


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Stuck in traffic



“I cannot believe this traffic, I’ll never make my meeting on time!”
I grumbled out loud as my car came to a stop behind a long line of cars.
“ I might as well listen to that CD mom and dad sent.” I said, as I angrily shoved the CD in the player. “There will be peace in the valley..” Sang the quartet in harmonious rhythms. “Oh, no!” I declared. “My parents are preaching at me again.” Ever since I moved out and started living my life my way, they always send me some CD or book about being a Christian or living the Christian life. “Will they ever stop?” I pondered.



Listening to song after song brought me back to a place where I had not been in a long time. A place where my life had not been filled with such the stress and despair I presently struggled with. I began to recall my Sundays being spent in our old country church. Listening to Pastor Green preaching his simple, faith-building messages. Even as a youngster, I had been drawn to his every word. “What was that saying Pastor used to say over and over?” I thought to myself. “When you’re down in the valley, look up for your help is always near.” I suddenly remembered. “Boy, I feel like I have been in a cold and tiresome valley for a long time.” I spoke out loud to myself.



“He set me free, yes he set me free.” Came the toe tapping melody of the chorus being played on my stereo. Suddenly tears began to roll down my cheeks and I began to look up towards my help. “God bring me out of this rut I am in and give me release that only you can give.” I earnestly prayed. As God began to draw me out of my valley of despair, I began to laugh. For not only was God clearing a path for my life, but also the cars ahead were beginning to move forward.


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This article has been read 603 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 08/18/06
Cool ending! Made me grin...

Work on conventions of paragraphing, to make your story more approachable.

This story was a pleasant diversion.
Joanne Sher 08/19/06
Wonderful message! A bit of work on the punctuation would make this even stronger. Thanks for writing!
Philip Barnes08/22/06
It's a great beginning flesh out a few ideas. How does the song effect you? Or what are the steps you go through? Draw out the personal transition a little more and we will believe the story a little more.
Valerie Routhieaux08/22/06
Very good. We pray for our children, and hope that something will get through. We never know the time or place. But God does. Very very good. Keep sharing.
naomi thomas08/24/06

Liked the gentle ending. Well done. Keep on writing and sharing.