The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Cool ending! Made me grin...

Work on conventions of paragraphing, to make your story more approachable.

This story was a pleasant diversion.
Wonderful message! A bit of work on the punctuation would make this even stronger. Thanks for writing!
It's a great beginning flesh out a few ideas. How does the song effect you? Or what are the steps you go through? Draw out the personal transition a little more and we will believe the story a little more.
Very good. We pray for our children, and hope that something will get through. We never know the time or place. But God does. Very very good. Keep sharing.

Liked the gentle ending. Well done. Keep on writing and sharing.