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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Valley (08/10/06)

TITLE: The tropics
By Christopher Jenyns
08/11/06


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It was a cool ever-glade that the valley opened onto, rolling out like the rolling tongue of a yawning lion. The green grass flowed like lime tears out from the shadows of the heavy foliage. Under the dull heat of the day sun you could feel the throb of life in your very veins, there in the tropics.

The grass ran from the valley to the low shore that clicked against the sandy beach, just touching lightly the bellowing curves of sand that flattened out into the ocean. The waves flattened themselves against shore, single wave after single wave. The hushed sound of their crash tripped up into the distance.

Above the floating sand the waves flicked up into the sky and crashed slowly in and into troughs of washing sinks. On and on to the horizon the waves added to their number having endless patience. Soon the Sun would set at rest in the midst of their zenith away from everything.


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This article has been read 536 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Christopher Jenyns08/17/06
The words "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" from the Psalm 23:4 spring to mind, but I think the imagery can be traced more distinctly to Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you." . The stages of imagery towards the sea, leaving the land is what supports that idea.
Jan Ackerson 08/18/06
Good exercise in metaphor, simile, descriptive language.
Clarissa Barge08/18/06
Wow! This is a good picture- in writing-of a valley. For me it was refreshing.
Marilee Alvey08/20/06
It looks like someone had a lot of fun making up metaphors on this one! It's almost like lying down and gazing at clouds, then imagining what their shapes represent. May your talent continue to bring you delight!
Dolores Stohler08/23/06
You have some good descriptive phrases there. If I were you I'd realign them into a poem. This would work better since there's no story plot. Keep writing.