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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Valley (08/10/06)

TITLE: The 23rd Psalm
By DeWayne Bricker
08/10/06


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Even though
It matters not what
Be it cold
Or be it hot

I walk
He痴 there too
Yes with me
And with you

Through the valley
Dark and deep
In his watch
Yes He値l keep

Of the shadow
Unseen fear
In His hand
Holds me near

Of death
It痴 cold breath stings
Yet His words
In my ear doth rings

I will fear
Demon nor man
Beast nor plague
My God can

No evil
Shall hurt me
And all things
Must flee

For You
Lift me up
And You
Fill my cup

Are with me
To carry my heart
Over the hills
You値l never part


Your rod
True and strong
Guides my life
All day long

And your staff
A map for me
Also a light
To help me see

They comfort me
As I fight
And direct my path
Back to the light

Back to
The mountain top
Without fear
I値l not stop

Without you O Lord
I will do right
I値l run the race
I値l fight the fight


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This article has been read 513 times
Member Comments
Member Date
c clemons08/18/06
Flow is choppy but I understand what you were saying.
Dan Blankenship 08/18/06
Are you sure you are a beginner? This is really good and flowed quite well.

May God bless.

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

Jan Ackerson 08/18/06
I really like the structure of this poem, with the first lines being part of the Paslm, and your extension of them. Very original!

Take a look at your 5th stanza--there's an unnecessary apostrophe, and some problems with verbs.

This is a very clever poem!
Marilee Alvey08/19/06
This poem was different. The meter was certainly different from the norm. Kind of refreshing to see a bit of that. I'm certainly no poet, but I saw some very good ideas, here.