The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 826 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I am sorry to say but this was hard to "see" and hard to read. I like the way you want to rhym the end words but it did not flow well. I thought God was talking about Adam but then it changed to be something else I think and you lost me totally in the last part. I think you need to work on this a little more and please DO NOT use italics.
Thanks. Keep trying.
08/13/06
The overall message was pretty clear, I think, although I feel you sacrificed clarity in places on the altar of rhyme and meter (a real temptation for poets). You've good a good ear for poetry, so don't be discouraged.