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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Vision (08/03/06)

TITLE: A New Dawn Rising
By
08/03/06


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A canvas of colours decorated the twilight sky as soft pink feathery clouds threatened to obstruct the setting sun as I sat on the cooling grass by the silent river. My arms were resting on my knees which were bent up towards my chin. I breathed in God’s beautiful creation as I look beyond to where the sun caressed the distant mountains.

With the freshness of the chilling air came the softness of a warm embrace. The sense that someone had entered my presence was as breath-taking as the panoramic scene before me. I closed my eyes for just a moment to take the impression into my inner being but what I saw behind the veil of my eyelids was not the sunset nor was it the river or the mountains, but a vision. A vision I will never forget.

In the vision a little girl was standing before her beloved grandmother who was sitting in an old rocking chair. The dear old lady was presenting the child with a beautiful gift. The gift was in a little silver box with a large red bow. The child smiled brightly and thanked the old lady before her. Then, as if struck by a sudden dread the child drew back as she opened the gift and cried out in terror.

“Why are you giving me this? I don’t want it.”

The little girl ran from the room throwing the precious gift out an open window. The grandmother’s eyes became wet with tears and her face shrouded with saddened as her heart began to break.

“Who is this child?” I asked my Lord.

My Jesus answered in a tender but stirring voice.

“Just as this little girl rejected her grandmother’s treasured gift to her, you too have rejected my gift I have given to you and in the same way you tossed it aside as if it were of no significance. Child you wounded my heart.”

“Yes, its true” I conceded.

“I had rationalized my reasoning, convincing myself that I was incapable of accomplishing the bequest you placed within me. I have been unwilling to except this gift from you… Forgive me Lord.”

I sat in His presence and looked once again to the scene before me now fading in the evening dusk. The sun was almost hidden from view. An orange tinge rippled along the top of the distant mountain like a backdrop to the closing day but deep within my soul I could see a new dawn rising.


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This article has been read 1021 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dan Louise Mann08/11/06
Neat comparison of gifts. Especially poignant from Jesus "Child you wounded me." Humbling. Thanks for sharing.
Lisa Cox08/11/06
This was really captivating. It held my attention all the way through.
Stacey LaMontagne08/12/06
Gorgeous imagery! You gave me chills! That was great. I wonder if that was a real vision. That was so awesome.
Thanks for sharing that.
Thomas Kittrell08/12/06
"A canvas of colours decorated the twilight sky as soft pink feathery clouds threatened to obstruct the setting sun as I sat on the cooling grass by the silent river. My arms were resting on my knees which were bent up towards my chin. I breathed in God’s beautiful creation as I look beyond to where the sun caressed the distant mountains." --- You certainly know how to start off with descriptive words that capture one's attention. I almost had to look around to make sure I was not actually there watching the sun set. Beautiful! And the message was clear and tied in great with the illustration. Thomas
Joanne Malley08/16/06
You choose beautiful words and imagery and write well. However, sometimes less is more, particularly with your first sentence. I noticed that when I use the word "as" too many times in a sentence, it is an indicator that it's way too long. Cutting it in two makes it easier on the reader. Also, vary sentence lengths throughout for diversion and captivation. Great job, though. Keep writing! Blessings. Jo
Carl Halling08/23/06
Very powerful. You write with beauty and skill, Chrissy. It is a good thing that God re-invigorated your desire to write. You have a great future as a writer, I believe.
Jacquelyn Horne06/06/07
There are very picturesque words here. The pov is great. A very good beginning for you. I'm sure you didn't stay here long.