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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Ding-Dong (05/16/13)

TITLE: He Didn't Even Ring the Door Bell
By Allison Egley
05/22/13
~1st Place


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The man burst into my home without so much as a knock or a ring of the doorbell. He smiled broadly at me. I stared at him with some strange combination of shock, horror, and... amazement. He was beautiful. Stunning, even. But the thought of a man barging into my house unannounced was more than a bit unnerving. I live in the suburbs. Never really thought I needed to lock my door if I was home. I'd have to rethink that policy.

"The name's Lucifer." He held out his hand and winked at me.

I backed away slowly. "What are you doing here?"

He closed the door behind him. "You invited me."

"I did no such thing." I backed into the kitchen and opened the knife drawer, trying to blindly reach for a sharp one, while still keeping an eye on my "guest."

"Sure you did. When you checked that little box on the card at that church the other day. I believe it read, 'I'd like to learn more about Jesus.'"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, well, let me tell you, this is a really great method to get converts."

"Oh, Iím not with the church. Not really."

"I don't think I..."

Ding-dong!

Lucifer took it upon himself to answer the door. "Don't worry. Just some friends of mine. You'll like them, if you give them a chance. You just sit down and relax. We'll take care of everything."

Another man entered my house. His green eyes were stunning. Memorizing.

I let my guard down a bit. Perhaps this was some strange answer to my nearly life long wish to end my days of singleness.

Lucifer introduced the man. "This is Jealousy. Jay for short."

I stared at his face. "I wish I had eyes like that." Jay took me by the hand and led me to the couch.

Ding-dong!

Lucifer let the next guest in. I let my guard down some more. This wasn't so bad after all. A bunch of beautiful men who actually wanted to hang out with me? I'd take it. Even if their method was a bit... unconventional.

Lucifer again introduced the newest guest. "This is Greed. Take a look at the beauties he and his chauffeurs parked in your driveway."

I walked over to the window. A black stretch limo glistened in the sun, and a dozen other cars lined the street. I pointed to each one. "Oh my gosh. I want that, and that, and that...."

More and more of Lucifer's friends arrived. At first, each sound of the doorbell brought a sense of excitement. What fun did Lucifer have in store next? But soon I was suffocating.

I wandered over to Lucifer, hoping to appeal to his sensitive side. "You know, this has all been lovely, but, I think I've had..."

A loud yodel pierced the air. I turned around. "Hey, you! Drunkenness! Stop hanging from my chandelier. NOW!"

I turned back to Lucifer. "As I was saying, I think I've had enough of this, and I'd really appreciate it if you and your friends left now."

"Oh, but you let us in. You can't get rid of us that easily."

Amid the clamor and noise, I heard something. Faint, but... "What's that?"

"What?"

"A knock. I think I heard a knock."

"Oh, come on." Lucifer waved his hand dismissively. "It was probably just Gluttony banging his hands on the kitchen table, demanding more food. He's probably eaten everything in there by now. Don't you know how to treat house guests?"

"There. I heard it again." I walked to the front door, and caught a glimpse of a man through the window. "There's someone there."

Lucifer casually glanced towards the window. "Oh, you don't want to invite him in. He's no fun."

My heart began to beat wildly, as memories of that night at the church came flooding back. The mocking. The scorn. The cross. The grave. The..."

I pointed an accusing finger at Lucifer. "You! And..." I turned back to the door, and choked on my tears, as a warmth unlike anything I'd ever known flooded my heart. "Him."

I stood up, walked to the door, and opened it. A stunned silence filled the house. "Come in." He walked in and I fell at His feet. I motioned behind me. "I know it will take awhile to get rid of all this, but will You help me?" Life has never been the same since.

**********

Revelation 3:20 (NASB)
Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

Accept Jesus as Your Savior Right Now and be Certain of Eternal Life.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 05/23/13
I enjoyed this creative way of portraying the deadly sins and the devil himself. Loved how you wrapped this up with Jesus knocking on the door--how sharp the contrast between our Savior waiting for an invite and the intrusion of Lucifer. Great use of expressing the topic.
CD Swanson 05/24/13
Wow - compelling, and an absolutely powerful and brilliant way of representing Jesus versus the enemy. Brilliant!

God Bless~
lynn gipson 05/26/13
This is brilliant! I absolutely loved this story and the message it sends to all of us. Yes, we have a way of letting those things just walk into our lives. Thank God their is One who will make them go away. Loved this!

Blessings, Lynn
Noel Mitaxa 05/26/13
I lovd how you have characterised the inner dialogue that we all experience from time to time. Totally credible in its honesty. Great work.
Judith Gayle Smith05/26/13
Sheer perfection. If this doesn't garner an EC, I quit! Terrific article . . .
Christina Banks 05/27/13
This was fantastic!
Virgil Youngblood 05/27/13
Hell, hell, the gang's all here -- and so in the Savior. Excellent take on the topic.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/28/13
This is a really excellent analogy.
Francy Judge 05/28/13
So glad for the happy ending. Great writing!
Ann Menschel 05/30/13
Congratulations on your 1st place piece. It is very well written and creative, with a good take away.
Leola Ogle 05/30/13
Congratulation Allison on this wonderful entry. Love it! God bless!
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/30/13
Congratulations on first place EC! Good job!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/30/13
Wow you just an incredible job on this one! I thought it was super creative and really drove home your message. HAPPY DANCE!!
Bea Edwards 05/30/13
Pleasure to read from beginning to end. Although I assumed a happy ending, you kept me in suspense as to how your MC was going to get herself out of this devilish situation.
Great analogy and congratulations on your first place win!
Karen Pourbabaee 05/30/13
Congratulations on your 1st place/EC honors for this spiritually enlightening entry!