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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Rattled (05/09/13)

TITLE: The Ultimate Price
By Graham Insley
~6th Place


The earth was rattling in God's hand. Rocks were crashing and rolling, trees falling to the ground and rivers changing course.

The man stumbled and fell to his knees. He struggled to get away from the horror of what was happening. His muscles pulled taught, his hands covered his ears and with stoic determination he forced himself to rise and walk on.

His wife screamed and turned with longing to see the home she had so rapidly left behind. A few brief seconds of supernatural eyesight pierced her heart and filled her with instant regret.

She saw her neighbor, Mary-Ann, collapse and curl into a fetal position. The evidence of vacated bowels and bladders was everywhere. Vomit mixed with blood as it ran down shirt fronts. Desperation and panic filled every street.

She saw her home explode into fire; quickly followed by those on either side. Red lava ran like a river down the path she walked every day. She watched a shop front crumble into broken pieces and her favorite restaurant fall into the gaping mouth of a sink hole. A two story building crashed to the ground.

She could hear the cries for help from the rubble of buildings. Agony was everywhere and the air itself was on fire with little clumps of burning debris. Flaming lumps of rock fell from the sky.

People opened their mouths to scream, only to fill their lungs with hot death. Bodies lay in the streets; filled the walkways, overflowed the gutters and piled in what were once doorways.

Some bodies, still burning, had been ignited on the inside by the tiny airborne fires they had breathed in. Others had already become no more than a pile of burnt ash and charred bone.

Real death stalked the streets that had once been claimed by a living death. Where once depravity and loose living had dominated, judgment of that lifestyle laid claim to those it owned. Death paraded where Mardi Gras had once strutted. The roads traveled by homosexuality were revealed as a highway to hell.

She knew that all of this was the result of years of selfish, immoral depravity. It was the just desserts of a Godless lifestyle.

She started to turn to follow her husband. But she couldn't move her feet. She looked down and saw they had turned to salt. The column of white was already climbing her legs. She quickly glanced at her hands; salt.

She had one last thought before heart, lungs and mind crystallized into sodium chloride; "If only I'd obeyed!"

When God is rattled, those who cause His anger will always pay.

The final and ultimate price for rebellion had fallen on Sodom and Gomorrah.

Footnote: this story reflects two Scriptures; Gen 18:17 through Gen 19:28 and 2Sam 22:7-8.

Accept Jesus as Your Savior Right Now and be Certain of Eternal Life.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Brenda Rice 05/21/13
You drew me in immediately with your gripping descriptions and emotions.

Very well written.
Sunny Loomis 05/22/13
Well done job with this story. Thank you.
Judith Gayle Smith05/22/13
Wow. Forceful, rivetting . . .
C D Swanson 05/22/13
Excellent descriptions pertaining to the Lot's wife and her possible POV. Vivid details helped bring it home. Nicely done.

God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/22/13
You did a fantastic job on this piece. You have a wonderful way of keeping the suspense going. Great job
Judith Gayle Smith05/23/13
Wonderful! Congratulations!
Bea Edwards 05/25/13
At first I thought this could have been the moments after our Savior returns in flaming fire. Your gripping story serves as a reminder of what will one day come to be. Well written, gritty and raw. Congrats!
Vince Martella05/26/13
Very edgy; I enjoyed this a lot. Congrats on a well deserved win.