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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: "Splash" 4-11-13 Deadline (04/04/13)

TITLE: Time Lapse of a Desert Monsoon
By Carolyn Ancell
~6th Place


A raindrop splashes on the hot dry desert floor,
raising a tiny cloud of dust.
Towering cumulus fill with darkness,
the cooling air beneath suddenly pungent and promising.

A blinding jagged spear of light slashes the sky.
A crescendo of thunder tears asunder the silence.
Scorching illumination and heart-splitting rumble collide in the same nanosecond.
A yellow flower, on its fragile stem, trembles.

A tumbleweed hitches a ride on a gust of wind.
A dust devil carries aloft everything not firmly tethered or rooted.
The torrent now rushes forth from the sky, lashing at the earth,
flaying out its abundance, flooding gullies and arroyos.

The lightning strikes again, this time finding its mark.
A small branch becomes a smoldering pile of ash.
A spiral of black smoke rises,
but is quickly damped by the driving rain.

As suddenly as it appeared, darkening the horizon,
as suddenly as it exploded in all of its power and fury,
as suddenly as it poured itself out across the water-starved desert,
it is gone.

A jackrabbit ventures out of its hole, and sits in the light of the after-storm.
An army of frogs venture out from their depths in the sand, and strike up a chorus.
A saguaro drinks quickly and deeply from the christened land,
swelling with its sweet giftedness.
A prayer of gratitude rises from the thirst-quenched earth.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/11/13
I think you did it delightful job on this poem. It was super creative to remove one letter from the word for each stanza. You made it look easy as your lines just flowed from the page with the perfect rhythm and telling a story full-circle with your beautiful words.
Ellen Carr 04/12/13
This is a beautiful poem. Your use of the word splash then removing one letter for each stanza is very clever and your use of words is lovely. I really enjoyed it.
Beth LaBuff 04/12/13
Living in the high desert, I love your words do describe this event (no doubt at a lower elevation with saguaros). Your skill with words and phrases created a poem rich with images, and was a complete joy to read. The monsoon season is quite unique and I could picture that jackrabbit. I also loved the way you subtracted a letter from the word splash for each successive stanza, then the new word was part of that stanza. Super work!!
Linda Goergen04/12/13
Absolutely perfect title...it leads you in and prepares you for a time lapse...then the masterfully done poem has you see it, feel it, live it in your mind! Very creative and original with amazing and vivid visuals! KUDOS! Outstanding! A winner for sure!
Jack Taylor 04/13/13
Your verbal brush paints a clear picture for those of us unfamiliar with the life of the desert. Strong and inviting imagery.
Grace Merkey04/14/13
I really like the way you wrote this, very creative.
Leola Ogle 04/14/13
Love, love, love the descriptive desert theme -- being a desert dweller myself -- and your use of SPLASH and dropping a letter. Good job! God bless!
Loni Bowden-Horn 04/17/13
My hat goes out to you for the creativity of your poem. Although I have never been in a desert before, I can visualize the tumbleweeds dancing across the sand and the jack rabbit jumping along looking for shelter.

Beautifully written and I like how you eliminated letters and used that as a show piece in the poem.
Judith Gayle Smith04/17/13
God uses His Heart to form your words to glorify Him. Beautiful.
C D Swanson 04/17/13
A Splash of genius! Great job. God bless~
Nancy Bucca04/18/13
A very creative take on topic. Congrats on your sixth place EC.
Beth LaBuff 04/18/13
I still love this Carolyn. Super congrats on your Editor's Choice award and level award!
Christina Banks 04/19/13
Very cleaver poem. Congratulations on you EC!
Bea Edwards 04/20/13
Unique and lovely prose!
It was easy to envision the portrait you drew with words.
Congratulations on your well deserved EC placing.
Judith Gayle Smith04/20/13
Claudia Thomason04/22/13
Very clever use of the word splash. Although living in the high desert now, I spent my childhood in Phoenix, enduring the annual monsoons. They could be terrifying. You described them so well. Great job! Congratulations on your EC.
Leola Ogle 04/24/13
One of my favorites! Congrats on your placement Carolyn! God bless!