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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Time (11/15/12)

TITLE: Foiling the Foiler
By Wilma Schlegel
11/22/12
~4th Place


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I heard it as soon as she turned off the television. It was ominous.

Tick-tock, tick-tock tick-tock, tick-tock.

Time. Ticking. Away. Forever.

Did she hear it too? Letís see what sheís going to do about it, if anything.

Iíve had a great time with her for the last twenty-four hours.

Last night I merely suggested she have a tiny piece, a nibble, of that double chocolate cheesecake (it was low fat and what harm could a skinny little slice do her?) Is it my fault that she so easily turns into an undisciplined glutton after hours?

No, it isnít. I merely make suggestions to add a little fun to her boring existence.

She went to bed late and didnít sleep well.

She got up with the second sounding of the alarm. She might have gotten up with the first, but I suggested that she could use a little more sleep. Sheís a pretty important gal at the university - she needs to be at her best. More sleep could make her late, less sleep and she might not be nice to other people.

Oh!!! Such a pity. I win either way!

Well, she looked awful. It took ten extra minutes to cover that sallow skin and those deep, deep bags around her eyes.

I reminded her that more fresh fruits and veggies might help her with that.

Ah, poor thing. Did I make her feel guilty? Thereís no way to free herself from that.

I see she wonít be taking that Ďspecialí book of hers down from the shelf. Hey, I donít mind that she has one. (She actually has five of them if anybodyís counting.) She mumbles something about taking time later for a devotional. Yeah, right.

Well, when she saw the frost on her windshield she said, ďYouíve got to be kidding - I donít have time for this today!Ē

I suggested she Ďdecorateí that word Ďtimeí with some flowery language, but she didnít listen to my reasoning. She just whipped out an old credit card (it was really a new one, but sheíll figure that out later) and slashed away at that frost for all of ten seconds. Then she jumped behind the wheel.

Well guess what she said to the old-timer in the trusty old Ford who was driving too slowly ahead of her?

You donít want to guess? Fine. Who cares? I donít.

She got to work late and she took a guilt-laden, bad attitude in with her.

She didnít have any time to go over notes. She didnít have time to get that glass of water she sips when her mouth goes dry. She didnít have time for stupid questions.

I reminded her that whoever said, ďThere are no stupid questions,Ē was obviously clueless about her job.

Hereís a gem: That timid student in her third period class picked today to try to talk to her!

ďI donít have time today,Ē she barked out in response. (It will take days for the timid one to recover. Bravo I say, I wasnít even working on that project!)

She felt lousy for the rest of the day and certainly didnít get any accolades. And, no surprise here, (but my daily mission accomplished) - she didnít win any souls for the kingdom of God. Boo hoo. Lets see - thatís 9,125 days that I can remind her that sheís been useless!

She got home and didnít take time to cook a decent meal. She didnít have anything to take to her sick neighbor so she didnít visit. (I asked her how many visitors does a sick person have strength for, anyway?).

She didnít call her mother. I freshened her mind about how her mother didnít drop by last week like she said she might. Mom will understand anyway, sheíll always be there.

Now itís late, the televisionís off - seconds are ticking by. Time for more cheesecake?

Ahh - sheís crying.

You poor, deserving one. Life is so unfair, isnít it?

Oh no!!! Sheís reaching for that book! No, no, this is all wrong. Not your desk with itís sturdy chair and good lighting, donít go there! Go to that ultra cushy chair if you have to read that book - you need the sleep.

Why doesnít she listen? Oh, I hate this.

Stop, stop - youíre killing me here!

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Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/22/12
Bravo! I feel like you could have written this just for me and no one else, though I suspect others need that lesson too. The line about another day being useless! Wow! Did that ever punch me in the gut! Just everything about this piece was delightful!
Noel Mitaxa 11/25/12
Reminder of CS Lewis' Screwtape Letters here. Very well done.
CD (Camille) Swanson 11/27/12
Nicely crafted! Thanks.
God bless~
Ellen Carr 11/28/12
This is very good indeed. Many things mentioned are cringingly close to home for me! You picked a great telling style. I enjoyed it very much.
Margaret Kearley 11/29/12
I read this the other day, but sadly did not get round to commenting! I re-echo though what I thought then! -this is excellent. A most unusual take on the subject but one that comes with a real pack of challenge. Excellent, and many congratulations.
Myrna Noyes11/29/12
Superbly well-written, clever, humorous, thought-provoking,and spiritually impacting! In other words, I LOVED IT! :) CONGRATULATIONS on your E.C.!! WAY TO WRITE!!
Bea Edwards 11/29/12
I loved how you described that dastardly foiler's clever lies. Great job spinning the topic in this unique way.
Ellen Carr 12/03/12
Congratulations on 4th place. Well-deserved!