Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Encouragement (02/23/12)

TITLE: Routine, Rut and Rescue
By Pam Ford Davis
03/01/12
~10th Place


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

I pull my hand from beneath piles of Grandma’s hand stitched quilts and reach to silence the enemy on my nightstand. The incessant buzz is deafening. My trigger finger finds the off button and I duck my throbbing head back under covers.

Can’t be time to get up already… If I skip breakfast, I can stay in bed a bit longer.

“Peter, you awake? Breakfast is about ready.”

So much for my idea. “I’m up.” Well, almost. I manage to force myself to leave the quilt cocoon and place two reluctant feet on cold tile. Rubbing sleep from slit openings, I traverse the well-worn rut to the bathroom.

Gotta’ shake this mood…Lots of people would love to be in my shoes. Pulling aside the sliding glass door, I adjust the shower handle to the far left position before stepping aside to answer nature’s morning call. Casting off crumpled pajamas, I shuffle through billowing steam to the shower and add only enough cold water to avoid scalding before hoisting frigid feet over the tub to step inside.

I gradually allow rushing hot water to trickle down my buzz-cut onto tensed shoulders. Increasing water pressure with a flick of the wrist, I jump-start my body. I lather up and feel tight muscles loosen with firm circular hand motions. If only I could learn to relax

I do a hyper-speed shave before brushing and flossing my choppers. Becky likes me with a close shave and dental disciplines guard against annoying plaque. Grabbing my Brute plastic container, I splash invigorating aftershave on my face before making a mad dash to finish dressing.

Wonder if anyone would miss me if I played hooky from work…I paste on a smile before entering the kitchen. Becky must not know how badly I need her encouragement. Creeping up behind her as she hovers over the sink, I plant a kiss on her alluring neck.

She shrieks, “Peter!”

“Sorry hon. Know you had an all-nighter with the baby.”

“I must be doing something wrong, expected colic for a few weeks but it’s been months.”

“Stop beating yourself up; you’re a great mom!”

I see a glimmer of hope in puffy eyes as she sets a cup of coffee by my bagel.

As playful mommy, she transforms into an airplane while spoon-feeding Pete his oatmeal. He opens his mouth on cue as if a hanger awaiting the next plane’s arrival.

Does Becky know how much I lean on her? Does she sense my deepening depression?

“Beck, I thought burnout was just a popular catch phrase. Boy was I clueless!”

“Maybe, you just need to take vacation a little early this year…”

“It wouldn’t change anything. I love my work. If I only had to please the top man, I could face it. It’s all the subordinates that keep me up tight.”

Becky’s baby blues pierce my soul as she calmly replies, “You know what you always tell me. Stay focused.”

I nod reluctantly, force down a few bites of the bagel, slurp coffee and glance at FOX headlines before heading to my nearby office. Traffic moves at a snail’s pace and my blood pressure soars as I inch my way to the well-groomed property. Upon arrival, I pull into my designated parking spot, one of the perks of the job that I take for granted.

“Morning Ms. Gray, any calls?”

She hands me several neatly recorded phone messages and peers above her bifocals. “Don’t forget the special meeting this evening at six.”

“Oh, that’s right; I’d better telephone Becky.”

I unlock the door to my adjoining private office, flick on the light switch, and toss my sports jacket across the back of the swivel chair. Sitting down, I instantaneously ease into my accustomed rocked back position. Another late meeting… The intercom rings. No, not interruptions already!

“Becky is on line one,” said my secretary.

“Good, was getting ready to call her.”

She understands my tight schedule. Busy is my middle name and it is six before I know it. I straighten my tie and march into the conference room to meet with faithful men and competent department heads. To my surprise, there is a jubilant atmosphere. “Evening, Reverend!” The chairman of the deacons passes me a crisp envelope containing weekend tickets for two at an exclusive resort.

“Tell Becky that my Mrs. will watch little Peter. We appreciate all that the both of you do!” I choke back tears as he asserts, “After all, preachers are people too!”

Accept Jesus as Your Savior Right Now and be Certain of Eternal Life.

Join Us at FaithWriters and Grow as a Christian Writer.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

This article has been read 769 times

Like this article? Please promote the author by commenting below
and clicking like to post their article to Facebook.



Member Comments
Member Date
Kathleen Langridge03/01/12
Good showing instead of telling. Well written. Perhaps some grammar short cuts, a missing pronoun or two? Loved the surprise ending. Encouraging.
Dannie Hawley 03/02/12
The title really fits your article well. You have done a super job in describing each scene for your readers. I loved the article and wondered just how many times we take the important people in our lives for granted when they are so wanting to know that their life matters. Thanks for the well-done reminder.
Nancy Bucca03/04/12
Truly you did a superb job of showing rather than telling. Love the surprise at the end. What an encouragement!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/08/12
I enjoyed this. You did a great job of showing instead of telling. The fact that the MC was a preacher and not a businessman took me by surprise. Nicely played.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/08/12
I'm notoriously bad at reading titles before stories but I wonder if I had read YOURS IF IT MIGHT HAVE GIVEN THE ENDING AWAY FOR ME. be CAREFUL WITH TELLING TOO MUCH IN THE TITLE. i STILL REALLY THINK YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH THE TOPIC. (sorry didn't mean to lock caps, not shouting just lazy :))
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/08/12
YAY! Congratulations Pam. Happy Dance! Can't wait to see you in level 2 next week.
CD (Camille) Swanson 03/08/12
Congratulations! God Bless~
Dannie Hawley 03/08/12
Oh Pam! I am so excited for you that I can't sit still! Plus, you made the E.C. list... oh happy day or as you recently sent me, "Oh, for goodness sake!"
Laura Manley03/08/12
This was very well-written and as I read it, I asked myself "why is this person writing in the Beginners?" You were very descriptive, showing and keeping this reader well entertained! If I had any criticism of this entry, it would be that the ending seemed rushed and it could be that the word limit caused this. I also LOVED the title; very appripo!
Danielle King 03/08/12
Congratulations on your placing Fiona. A very well written piece and I also wondered what you were doing in beginners. However you're not now are you! Well done!
Danielle King 03/08/12
Sorry Pam. Forgive me for calling you Fiona. I've had a busy day! Haha!
Danielle King 03/08/12
Sorry Pam. Forgive me for calling you Fiona. I've had a busy day! Haha!
Maxine Davis04/23/12
Very encouraging to me today. Thanks for writing that
Julie Andre 04/29/12
I can see why you came in first. You definietly have a way with words. I love the use of your adjectives---very descriptive. Keep on writing!