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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Hacker or Virus (computer) (12/15/11)

TITLE: The Fate of Ivor Konn
By Melanie Kerr
12/28/11
~1st Place


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I found the file by accident
By pressing keys galore
“The On-line Book Of Life” laid out
In detail’s what I saw

A list of names and dates and times
Of people heaven bound
I scanned the pages, skimmed the names
Until my own I found

I felt a deep and joyous mirth
That lasted but an hour
I glimpsed a name and knew a taste
Of something very sour

Ivor Konn from Darnel Drives
Car salesman slick and sleek
With smart black suit and brylcreemed hair
That snarf, that slime-ball sneak

I thought of all his dodgy deals
The death traps that he’d sold
The painted, polished, pristine car
That hid an engine old

He moved me with persuasive words
I parted with my cash
A week? A month? It wasn’t long
Before the fateful crash

His name, an aberration in
This list of noble folk
How could he be among the just?
This base, black-hearted bloke

The thought of heaven spent with him
Was more than I could bear
That he had made it on the list
Was really most unfair

There was a button on the left
With “edit” marked in blue
I then selected Ivor Konn
And wished the man “adieu”

A “User name” and “password” prompt
Appeared upon the screen
My mind a fog, an empty space
This hurdle I’d not seen

For user name I typed in “God”
For password I tried “lamb”
“Access denied” it said, and stayed
A tightly sealed clam

“Lord Jehovah”, “Ageless One”
“The First”, “The Last”, “The King”
“El Shaddai” and “The Counsellor”
“My God”, “My Everything”

I tried all combinations of
The names of God I knew
Of other tongues and languages
I tried more than a few

I could not score out Ivor Konn
Delete him from the list
I scorned the thought that he and I
In heav’n could coexist

A bright and sudden flashing of
A rainbow on my screen
Warned me I’d been spotted and
My hacking had been seen

“The fate of Ivor Konn, my child
Is mine and mine alone
Ivor has a place in heaven
Before my glorious throne”

“The date of his adoption
As my son is drawing near
The good news of the gospel is
A message he must hear”

“I’m sending you this afternoon
This message to impart
Before you go just let me pour
My love into your heart”

“See him, son, the way I do
This lost and broken soul
And bring him home to Me that I
Might mend and make him whole.”

Accept Jesus as Your Savior Right Now and be Certain of Eternal Life.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Allison Egley 12/30/11
Oh, I love this. So creative. I think if we knew who'd be in heaven we'd be surprised in more than one case!
CD Swanson 12/30/11
Wow - this was so good! I read it three times. Nice job...Thanks. God Bless~
Amanda Brogan01/02/12
You really captured the essence of what people do when they try to "play God." I love how you ended it with God telling the MC to go and witness to the very man that he didn't want to spend eternity with.

Very creative and well-written take on the topic!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/04/12
This is so good. I had goosebumps in the end. The last line of the first stanza was difficult for me. I wonder if the 's was a typo. You did a great job of being on topic but presenting it in a fresh and interesting way.
Linda Goergen01/04/12
I loved this! Great read! I too love that the MC himself was to be the salesman's witness. Cute read but with a powerful message! Well done!
Kelvin Fowler01/05/12
She's my buddy :-)

Well done Mel, I new this was a good one. Well done.
CD Swanson 01/05/12
COngratulations! God Bless~
Amanda Brogan01/05/12
Congratulations! This was one of my favorites for this topic, so I'm glad you placed. :) Very well done! I adore the flow of the poem and the message it sends. ;)
Sandra Petersen 01/05/12
Perfect rhyme and rhythm and a very much needed message for anyone carrying a grudge. Congratulations on the win.
annie keys01/05/12
Congratulations on first place win! Love your piece, well done, well done!
Martha Black01/08/12
This was stunning! Thank God that God won't let us play God! Awesome!
Melinda Melton 01/16/12
Congratulations! Loved this piece. Well done.
Patricia Turner01/18/12
Oooh! I love a happy ending! Congratulations on your 1st place win!
Ellen Carr 03/31/12
I just read this poem and I love it. Humorous with a good message. Well done!