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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Outlook (06/02/11)

TITLE: Love Colored Glasses
By Jody Day
06/07/11
~10th Place


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Two women set about the wind
To travel to the great world’s end,
Each carrying a different heart;
In this way they were set apart.
They came upon a lovely rose,
The scent no poet could compose.
This took one woman up much higher,
The other said, “But, the briar.”
The wind then blew them to the heights;
Above the sun to twinkle lights.
“I fly!” the one began to call,
The other was afraid she’d fall.
And so it went from day to day:
Each viewing life a different way.
One reached out saying “Come with me,”
The other looking back to see
What dangers might be coming nigh;
She turned away from brilliant sky.
No sooner had the journey started
Than the women’s ways were parted.
The one believed the Father’s cheer,
That there was never need for fear.
And that His love endures forever
For He’d leave her never - ever.
The other clung to the Deceiver,
Who made her heart a true believer
That trouble lurks around the bend
To bring her life down to an end.
Both were given the same gift
One joyful choice, one set adrift;
How great the one life’s choice surpasses
When wearing God’s love-colored glasses.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Leola Ogle 06/10/11
I long to always wear God's love-colored glasses too! Good job! God bless!
Linda Goergen06/11/11
First, I offer a couple of format suggestions: Might you consider this poem being presented split into different stanzas of quatrains? (8, I believe) I think it would have improved flow and vision and power of your words. It would allow the reader to linger on the vision and thoughts of one stanza, allow a breath taken if you will, before being entering the next, instead of being visually rushed along in the free form you presented it in. (which BTW, each stanza deserved that lingering as you had so much visual delight worded into each!)

Also, consider omitting the capital of each line, it is no longer common practice, and the capital compels the reader to pause at each line, when you don’t necessarily desire a pause.

Now on to the poem‘s content and flow…it is WONDERFUL! The poem’s rhythm flowed and the rhyme did not seem at all forced! The message and vision of your poem was terrific, playing the two outlooks of the women off of each other, comparing the results of their actions! Fit the challenge word to a T, and just had so much wisdom presented in delightful word pictures to show its message! Just terrific job there!!!
Joe Moreland06/12/11
I have to agree with Linda on just about all counts. The flow of this work of poetry is awesome. It reads like a piece of art. As a person who doesn't read a lot of poetry, though, I definitely could have benefited from a little more structure to the format. Not that I'm saying it's necessary - because the writing definitely stands on its own as masterful, but that it would help me to, as Linda put it, to linger a little longer on each of your brilliant pictures.

Thanks for writing this!
Joe Moreland06/12/11
I have to agree with Linda on just about all counts. The flow of this work of poetry is awesome. It reads like a piece of art. As a person who doesn't read a lot of poetry, though, I definitely could have benefited from a little more structure to the format. Not that I'm saying it's necessary - because the writing definitely stands on its own as masterful, but that it would help me to, as Linda put it, to linger a little longer on each of your brilliant pictures.

Thanks for writing this!
Janice Fitzpatrick06/16/11
Congrats hon. This is a beautiful poem! Holy Spirit inspired. God bless!
Patricia Protzman06/16/11
Congratulations on your well-deserved 1st place win in level 3 and 9th place EC win.
Patricia Protzman06/16/11
Sorry, I meant to say 10th place instead of 9th.
Rachel Phelps06/16/11
Congratulations on your EC!
Kim Hamlin06/16/11
Congratulations Jody!! This is excellent work, I love it!
Jacqui Cosper06/16/11
Lovely and poignant!
Linda Goergen06/16/11
Congratulations Jody on your 1st place win! I had loved this poem when I first read it and your win is so well deserved!
Phyllis Woods 06/18/11
There is so much truth in this poem - thanks for the reminder that faith opens the door to wonderful adventures.