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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: The Writer's Life (05/13/10)

TITLE: Kidnappe'
By Mona Purvis
05/19/10
~8th Place


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Walking along Stanbury Street, Josie's mind was re-playing today's events. Another day of being bullied and name-called. Four-eyes, Brainiac, Bookworm . That was from the girls at Tremont High. The guys looked right past her.

No matter. Writers work alone. It's the price of the passion: butt-in-chair discipline. She loved her characters and lived her life in their shoes. It was far more exciting than her home life with her socialite stepmother and absentee workaholic father.

She may not be invited to parties or belong to the in-crowd, but she traveled to exotic places, rode galloping steeds and kissed tall, dark heroes-at least, her characters did.

Josie knew she was destined to be a writer; it's all she wanted to do. She spent hours in her room completely absorbed as storied ideas waxed and waned, ebbed and flowed. Her thoughts would fill her creative sponge and then she would wring in out onto paper. Most she kept secreted away from prying eyes.

Deep in thought, Josie didn't hear the rusty, blue van until it was right beside her. The door flew open and she was jerked inside as it raced away. The driver never looked her way. The man in the backseat holding her down wore a stocking over his face. She screamed as she struggled with him.

“Shut her up!”

The last thing she remembered was a cloth forced over her nose and mouth and the stench of chloroform.

The worst headache of her fourteen years woke her into a dark room with a cold concrete floor. It was quiet.. It took her a few minutes to gather her thoughts and remember what had happened. The only light came from a small window high above her head. Hearing keys rattling against the metal door, Josie jumped to her feet.

“Here.” The rough man pushed a cold sandwich and Coke into her hands.

“Gotta keep you alive, at least until the ransom is paid.” He left slamming the door as he went.

Ransom? My stepmother won't pay a ransom; she's probably involved. She'd love to see me out of the way, securing a more prominent place in Father's will. I need an escape plan. He's too big for me to subdue. Must use my brain...have to outsmart him.

When he brings the telephone...they always make a telephone call. He'll insist I speak to Father. That's it! I won't speak. Father won't pay if he doesn't hear my voice. I'll have the upper hand.


Before Josie could finish the Coke, the man came in with a telephone. Thrusting it into her face he whispered savagely, “Speak.”

She shook her head. “Speak!” Josie nodded again. Grabbing her by the hair, he forced her face against the phone. “SPEAK or I'll cut your throat here and now!”.

Um-mm. This is a tight spot. What now? Need to re-think this. I better hurry home before I forget this plot. Fallon...that's her name. Long red hair. Her father's super rich. He'll pay any amount for her safety. Maybe her abductor could be handsome? No, her rescuer... someone who has been in love with her and afraid she would reject him. Yes, that's it. Oh, yes. Her father will see the truth, change his ways and spend more time with her. Paris. This takes place in Paris. Fallon had been sent away to boarding school by her evil stepmother. Yes, now I've got it. .

Accept Jesus as Your Savior Right Now and be Certain of Eternal Life.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 05/23/10
I love how you've very creatively woven these stories. Your final paragraph is great wtih that "a-ha" moment. This is so very well written!
Joan Campbell05/23/10
Wow, talk about being absorbed by your own story! Nice twist to realise it was all part of her imagination. Great job!
Lyn Churchyard05/24/10
A story within a story. Excellent! You had me fooled until the last paragraph. That doesn't happen very often. Well done, I really enjoyed this.
Rachel Phelps05/24/10
This was a delight - intense, engrossing, and at the end, funny. I remember being that kid - only I was homeschooled, so the taunts were dialed back a little and came from siblings and neighborhood kids. If only they really understood...
Susan Montaperto05/24/10
A very good story with a terrific surprise ending. Keep writing.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/25/10
You made the "writer's life" exceedingly clear with you story within a story. I loved it.
Ann Grover05/26/10
I did see the ending coming, but it didn't decrease my enjoyment one bit. I often employ this technique when writing, putting myself in the character's place, "feeling" every moment... and writing it down before it gets away.
AnneRene' Capp 05/26/10
Well, I didn't see the ending coming and was riveted in this story. Great imagination!
AnneRene' Capp 05/26/10
Oops...meant to add that you are not alone in your struggle for these topics. I've been really pushing and even skipped writing on one topic, so good job on this one!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge05/27/10
Lots of imagination and imagery...an exciting read. Congratulations~
Beth LaBuff 05/27/10
Mona, it's wonderful to see this excellent story on the Editor's Choice list! Congrats!!