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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Childhood (09/03/09)

TITLE: Scurvy Ann, the Pink Pirate
~10th Place


Chloe Ann’s daddy asked too many questions.

Do you know why the grass is green?

Do you know why you hiccup?

Do you know what the best part of eating your daily orange is?

Ha! That was easy. There was no best part to eating a mushy, stringy orange—unless it was bear-cading your teeth with the peel.

The Vitamin C helps your immune system—so you don’t get sick.

Don’t care ‘bout getting sick, Daddy.

Oh, you’ve never had scurvy, Ann.

The yellow sunshiny rays prodded Scurvy Ann awake. Being a responsible pirate, she yawned only once before feeling under her fluffy pillow for her eye-patch and hook. And she allowed herself only one stretch, but it wasn’t long as her toes strained against the ends of her pink bunny-rabbit-fake-flannel-fire-poof-footsie-pajamas. Her legs had become as long as her strawberry-blonde hair, which is the perfect kind of hair for twirling around hooks. And twirling is the perfect kind of activity when pirates plot their pirately exploits.

She hopped out of bed (what choice did she have wearing bunny-rabbit pajamas?) and into the kitchen, It was a light hop so as not to disturb sleeping scallywags. Except for Murphy, a big galoot of a furry animal with little grace or purpose in life but for digging holes. Their backyard was on the verge of becoming one gigantuous sinkhole like the one her daddy had shown her on the six o’clock news.

He was also a dog of excellent hearing.

"Move over, Murphy,” Scurvy Ann ordered, giving a mammoth tug to the suctiony ‘frigerator door. The bin holding the evil oranges was easy pleasey—fortunately.

Unfortunately, large spherical fruits are somewhat tricky to maneuver with one hand and a hook, so Scurvy Ann being the innovative type, prudently stuffed the oranges into her pajamas bottoms.

With four in each leg, she waddled out to the backyard, (Murphy at her side, perplexed) and unloaded the booty into two of the dog’s smaller canyons.

Heave to ye grossness! Her mother couldn’t make her eat gagging squishiness today. No ye hornswaggler. The oranges were GONE.

She hopped quickly back into the house and her room.

It was Saturday—play-clothes day, and there they lay on her wicker chair next to Paddington Bear. Scurvy Ann whisked them to the side with a mighty swipe of her hook.

The right side of her closet was full of the frill she loved(secretly, as it would be frowned upon in pirate circles). Lace and grow-grain and Swiss-cheese dot. Mmmmmm.

She picked the special dress her mother had made with the Peter Pan collar—shiver me timber.

Scurvy Ann frowned.

Her mother asked a lot of questions, too.

Do you know want me to add gingham, or rick-rack, or ribbon to this dress?


Which one?

All of them.

She was dressed now and madly ecstatic that the only pulpy oranges eaten this day would be the ones the lonesome seagulls pecked at on lonesome shores.(Lonesomely).

“ARG!” growled the wild-haired pirate, brandishing her hook as she stomped into the kitchen.

“Morning, Sweet-Pea.”

“There be no sunshine here!”

“I’ll remember that. If the Dreaded Pink Pirate could let the dog outside, her mother would be much obliged. Do you know what obliged means? And what are you doing wearing that dress?” Her mother pulled open the fruit bin. “Hey, where are all the oranges?” She shut the refrigerator door and looked Scurvy Ann squarely in her one unpatched eye.

“ARG! No more questions, Poopdeck-swabber!

Scurvy Ann took off to the backyard, Murphy bounding beside her. She spied the freshly covered mounds.

So did Murphy.

“Stop, Murphy!”

Murphy looked up from where he’d begun investigating.

“No, Murphy! Get away!” she scolded. But being a dog of very little fear, he merely wagged his tail.

That’s when Scurvy Ann heard her father clear his throat. Both her parents stood by the dog house, hands on hips. Her mother tapped her flip-flop on the crunchy grass. “Well, young lady?”

Scurvy Ann, head down, squatted to her knees, which now strangely smelled of oranges.

“Murphy did it.”

While she sat in time-out, she heard her parents talking.

“She’s a stinker, Bryan, isn’t she?”

“Yup, she is. But, you know what the best part of being her parent is?”


“We get another chance at the wonder of childhood. I mean, didn't you ever want to be a pirate?”

Scurvy Ann gave up wondering about the questioning nature of groan-ups and sniffed her knees again.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Loren T. Lowery09/10/09
Can there ever be anything more wonderful than being lost in the bold, imaginative mind of a child. Maybe it’s the Captain Jack Sparrow in me, but I wanted to join Chloe Ann as well, get a matching black eye patch, make a few scalawags walk the plank, bury and hunt for lost treasure; and of course continue to blame Murphy for everything that ever goes wrong.
Chely Roach09/10/09
Simply priceless. Loved every hilarious word! :)
Laury Hubrich 09/10/09
Very cute in a piratey sort of way;) Good job!
Bryan Ridenour09/11/09
I really liked this. Reminds me of my kids, except they play the parts of superheroes and I'm the bad guy...Very entertaining read. Nicely done.
Sheri Gordon09/11/09
So creative, and so funny. Love that little girl. You did a great job putting us in her make-believe world.
Jan Ackerson 09/13/09
The sentence that totally did me in on this one is the last: "sniffed her knees..." That's just so totally pitch-perfect.
Catrina Bradley 09/13/09
This little girl is so much fun! I love her to pieces. :)
Kimberly Russell09/13/09
I'm thinking I missed out on something: don't remember ever doing the pirate thing... I really enjoyed this one.
Joy Faire Stewart09/13/09
I loved the make believe world of "Scurvy Ann." Very creative and fun read.
Gregory Kane09/14/09
Such a wonderful character. I hardly wanted you to stop!
Just a thought, but I wondered why you didn't just start with "The yellow sunshiny rays" and skip the rather long explanation about why the girl didn't like oranges.
BTW although we on this side of the pond generally deplore the way our cousins misspell the English language, in this case I much prefer your hiccup to our cumbersome hiccough!
Betty Castleberry09/14/09
What a wonderful story to illustrate. The voice is perfect, and the whole thing is charming. Wowsers!
Sherrie Coronas09/14/09
Such a fun piece to read...and a story that reminds us about the joys of childhood.
Sharlyn Guthrie09/14/09
You definitely gave Scurvy Ann personality! I loved your fun use of words, too, such as scallywags, galoot, and gigantuan. Such fun to read!
Charla Diehl 09/15/09
A cute, fun read that allows the reader to explore the imaginary world of your MC. I can see this easily illustrated as a children's book.
Beth LaBuff 09/15/09
I totally enjoyed all the Scurvy Ann-isms. These made me smile as I interpreted them in my brain, "Lace and grow-grain and Swiss-cheese dot." And I remember the Peter Pan collars, (perfect touch for a pirate girl). Love that! What a character. Where did your muse find her? :)
Mariane Holbrook 09/16/09
I want to adopt that child. Can you arrange it?? What a great piece! I hope you place high on this one because it deserves to win. Kudos!
Marylynne Middelkoop09/16/09
I loved this story! You have captured the wild imagination of a child so beautifully, I felt like getting an eye patch and parrot myself! Thanks for such a great read!
Leah Nichols 09/16/09
Scurvy Ann's voice is spot on! Exactly like a child. Even in unedited form, you know how to nail a story. Excellent!
Dee Yoder 09/16/09
LOL! I didn't think there could ever be a kid as weird as I was as a girl--but here she is! I agree with Jan: sniffed her knees is PERFECT. Polish this one up and send it somewhere, kiddo! It's hilarious and voice-perfect.
Joy Faire Stewart09/17/09
Congratulations on your EC. Loved it and was happy to see it do so well.
larry troxell 09/17/09
never thought of a young girl playing pirate. so realistic!
Lisa Johnson09/17/09
Arrggh! Matey...a wonderful story, about an equally wonderfilled little girl. i enjoyed it tremendously. Congratulations on your EC.
Beth LaBuff 09/17/09
Congrats to Scurvvy Ann! No walkin' the plank for this mate!
Charla Diehl 09/17/09
Lisa, thumbs up to you on your EC placement with this cute story. Another possible book with illustrations maybe?
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/17/09
Creative--fun--with your own magic touch! I love it and love to see your name in lights!
Catrina Bradley 09/17/09
I loved this just as much the second time. Congratulations!!!!
Sharlyn Guthrie09/17/09
Aw, this was such fun to read. I'm glad Scurvy Ann got her just recognition. Congratulations!
Joshua Janoski09/28/09
Yarr! This piece be pure pirate's gold!

LOL. Seriously, this was very cute. I loved the pirate theme, and you totally captured the imagination of a young child. I don't recall ever disliking oranges when I was a kid, but I did love pirates. :)