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Previous Challenge Entry (EDITOR'S CHOICE)
Topic: Grandparent(s) (04/03/08)

TITLE: The Attic, Revisited
By Kenn Allan
~1st Place


In the attic, rafters slacking,
Slightly slumped from careless stacking,
Dated with newspaper packing,
Standing in a row...

Cardboard boxes filled with treasures
Gleaned from passing childhood pleasures,
Labeled with the age it measures
From her life below...

...Outside, it starts to snow.

Down the stairs, her parents sitting—
He with nothing, she with knitting,
In their silence, both submitting
To their empty nest...

Spread before them, worn and tattered,
Travel folders loosely scattered,
Saved from times when leisure mattered
And their patience stressed...

...Oh, how those days were blessed!

In the hall, a phone is ringing
Without hint of what it’s bringing;
Voices drone, then joyous singing
Overwhelms their hearts...

In the spring, new life is coming!
Phone replaced by fingers numbing,
Tarnished heartstrings begin thrumming,
Emptiness departs...

...Inside, redemption starts…

Bursting with anticipation
O’er the sudden proclamation,
Suddenly, an inclination
Sparkles in their eyes...

To the attic, almost sprinting,
Past discarded, future glinting,
Travel folders need reprinting
To prioritize...

...A Disneyland surprise?

Boxes tossed, the quest proceeding,
Dust unsettled, years receding,
Seeking help they will be needing
From their lives before...

Flaps dismembered, shredded wrappings,
Fond recountings, flawed recappings,
Strewn throughout the youthful trappings
On the attic floor...

...Mere memories no more.

Plush companions stuffed with cotton,
Bedtime stories long forgotten,
Blessings given, others gotten,
Wrapped in angel’s wings...

Down the stairs, the couple dances,
Sharing grins and knowing glances;
Thus, the wheel of life advances
From each joy it brings...

...Outside, a robin sings.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Gerald Shuler 04/10/08
I love good poetry so, of course, I love this entry. It has a Poe flow without the Poe macabre. You even got a bird and "never more" into it. What makes it great, though, is the loving message of parental purpose restored.
Charla Diehl 04/11/08
This was great. I could feel the emotions of the grandparents, from sad to glad and all the in betweens. Poetry has a special place in my heart, and this was wonderfully written and beautifully told. A big thumbs up to you.
Beth LaBuff 04/11/08
I love everything about this. Your meter and rhyme are perfect. Your story is beautiful and wonderful to read.
Joanne Sher 04/12/08
Absolutely beautiful and melodic - lovely images and word choice. Just wonderful.
Anne Linington04/13/08
This is really memorable- congratulations; I especially like the rhyming pattern and flow of the unfolding story.
Jan Ackerson 04/15/08
I think I know who wrote this...I hope I'm right! Even if I'm wrong, it's utterly delightful.
Joanne Sher 04/17/08
Good to have you back. I thought I knew whose this was, but was afraid to admit it (especially when I saw Beth's comment on it). Congratulations on your first place.
Beth LaBuff 04/17/08
I should have known! Congrats Kenn! It's good to see your name again!
Nana Bunch04/17/08
Congrats! This was utterly delightful! Excellent use of words and rhymes - pulling one into the rhythm - like a familiar melody. What a sweet and touching perspective of a new adventure :)
Gerald Shuler 04/17/08
I have been told that you are the poet to study. This win shows that I have received truly valid advice. Congrats on the EC.
Pat Guy 04/17/08
So beautiful ... so everything. Congratulations Kenn.
Sheri Gordon04/17/08
Congratulations on your 1st place--this is wonderful.
Loren T. Lowery04/17/08
Congratulations on placing with this beautiful entry with its tender message. Loren
Sally Hanan04/17/08
It's great to see you back again with such a beauty.
Pam Carlson-Hetland04/17/08
I SO enjoyed this. And I'm not even much of a poetry fan. Excellent job and congrats on your win.
Janice Fitzpatrick04/17/08
Beautiful flow, love the depiction of the attic and the "empty nest". I was glad to see how new life had given them purpose and hope again. Your ending was prefect as spring had definately revisited them with news of a grandchild. Love this! Congrats Kenn.God bless.
Julie Paulsen04/18/08
I'm sitting here now with misty eyes after reading your very moving poem. You describe so beautifully my present life. Just wonderful!
Cherry Bieber04/22/08
I read, I saw, I cried, I laughed, I danced...thank you from this grandmother's heart who has just learned that November will bring us yet another...
Catrina Bradley 04/23/08
Fabulous! A roller coaster ride of emotion, and your perfect poetry seems so effortless. A true joy to read.
K. J. Cash05/05/08
Ah, yes, this is poetry of the finest order. Congratulations on your EC!
Emily Ritter02/04/13
Very nice. I enjoy your poetry. The speed of each line is so specific to the emotion it potrays. Well done.