I wake this morning with a smile,
satin sheets pulled round my head.
But then it hits me like a rock
And my heart is filled with dread.
My forehead breaks out in a sweat
My stomach – it starts cramping…
No more satin sheets for me
Today we’re going camping!
Oh, I so don’t want to go.
I’d rather be at home
Instead of sardine-squished to death
Inside a canvas dome.
I hear my husband calling out
“Come on, hon! Let’s get cracking!
The great outdoors awaits us-
Let’s finish up the packing!”
The car is loaded up with junk
A tear slips down my face
As we head down the driveway
To escape the human race.
What will I do without my coffee
To start out every day?
No computer or TV
Or all-you-can-eat buffet.
Just the thought of all the bugs
Creeping outside that tent
Makes me beg my husband
To reconsider this event.
He pats me on the leg
and says it will be great
I swallow the lump stuck in my throat,
Sit back and await my fate.
My husband’s gently nudging me
I must have dozed a while.
“We’re here, sweetheart,” he says,
flashing me a brilliant smile.
I look outside my window
And confusion settles in.
There are no woods in sight at all-
Just a cozy, country inn.
“Do you really think I’d take you
camping for a week?
I know how you can’t stand the thought
Of bathing in a creek.
This week you will be pampered
And romance will prevail.
You can watch TV and take a bath
And even check email.”
I throw my arms around the man
I’ll love for my whole life.
He’s the one I always will adore-
I am blessed to be his wife!
Inside, I lounge on satin sheets,
My true idea of “pamper.”
I smile and snuggle up to my hubby.
I am NOW a happy camper!
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