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Name: James Mickley
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Articles written: 29

 About Self
Well hello there! Let me tell you about myself! I was always raised as a "good kid". Never smoked anything, drank any alcohol, no drugs, nothing. Christian parents that loved me, and for the most part, I got what I wanted, and always had what I needed. Even after my dad passed away in November of 2007, I still had what I needed. I have also always been the world’s best liar. I have always been the one who would manipulate my way out of any situation I didn't like by either making up a story on the spot, or just saying exactly what someone wanted to here. That had always worked out for me pretty well. On September 14, 2010, I got arrested. I had worked in the photo lab at Wal-Mart, and I used my resources and privacy back there to steal over $3200 worth of merchandise. A laptop, cell phones, speakers, everything. I went to Payne County Jail for a few nights, but my mother was generous enough to bond my out of jail. At this point, my fiancé and I were living together, we never did anything questionable. We didn't have sex, or even anything close to that, but we still lived together. The original plan was for me to stay at her apartment for a few days until I could find somewhere else to stay. But after a week or so, she decided to put her engagement ring back on, and take me back in. I knew at that point I had this in the bag, and stopped trying to be a better person, and relied more on my old habits to coast through, the same thing I had always done. I had been seeing a Christian counselor and a psychologist, was diagnosed this moderate ADD, given medication, everything, I had all my basis covered. I even got up early every morning to do a personal devotional. Finally, after a month and a half, I was able to get a new job. I began working at Chick-fil-a in town and stopped any sign of personal progress. Everything I had done got reported to my attorney and I had been able to drop my punishment down to a mere 6 months of probation. For a felony. My fiancé and I were well along in the wedding planning process, we both had jobs making good money. Everything was easy. Just how I like it. On December 30, 2010, I got arrested a second time. I had gone to Best Buy after work and tried to steal a video card for a computer. They had watched me nearly the whole time. On my way out of the store, the manager confronted me, asking if I had just stuck something in my jacket pocket. Everything in me suddenly screamed "What on Earth have you been doing??" I said yes sir, and pulled it out and handed it to him. He just said "why?" and then called the security personnel over and told me they would have to call the police. I begged them not to, past the point of tears. All they could tell me was that their "hands were tied". What else could they say? I tied them. I got to experience my nightmare all over again. The handcuffs, the hard plastic seats of the back of a police car, the sally-port, the booking bench, the smell, and the sound of a cell door closing. I had to use my one phone call to call my fiancé and tell her where I was, but she already knew. She was madder than she had ever been. Even more than that, she was hurt. This time I only had to spend one night in jail, as the next day, on the 31st, I was able to bail myself out. A god thing no doubt as the only bondsman to answer his phone was willing not only to take half of what I was supposed to pay, come get me out of jail, drive me to my car on the other side of the town so I could get my paycheck, cash it, then take the money back to his office where he was waiting for me. An old pastor friend, the man who was going to do our wedding called me to let me know that my fiancé had a bag packed for me, and wanted me to come by and give her my key, get my stuff and leave. So I did. I wandered around pretty aimlessly for a few hours and till later that night, I found myself alone in my care in Braum's parking lot with nowhere to go. It was then that I realized that God had finally allowed me to get myself into a position where there was absolutely nothing I could do. I couldn't manipulate my way out of this one. Nothing I could say or do would make it go away. Sitting there in my car, for what may have been the first time in my life, I gave up. I told God I couldn't do it. I couldn't handle it. I told Him I was sorry I tried to do everything on my own for so long, I was sorry I had forced my will in front of His so many times. I told God I had nowhere to go admitted to Him everything I had been hiding, and that every inch of my life was in his hands. A minute or so later, a coworker called me and told me I could sleep on his couch in his apartment. A call that came at the same time that I was trying to think of a place I could park my car to sleep in the back seat for a night. Over the next few days I found out that I had lost my job, and my coworker who had remained in contact with my fiancé told me that she had made up her mind, our relationship was over, and she was at peace with her decision. I was distraught and very much in denial. On New Year’s Day, an old family friend from when I was younger called me and asked if I would mind if he drove over to where I was, four and a half hours away, so we could talk. I consented and he was already on his way. As we were talking, he asked me how old I was when my dad passed away. I told him I was 17. He then told me that he was 18 when his dad had passed away, and for the longest time, he never dealt with it. He told me that he didn't know what to do, and would frequently go into bars, get drunk, and get into fights knowing that he would be thrown into jail. He told me he thought I might be in the same shoes, and offered to take me to the cemetery the next day. Which was another two and a half hours away. We got up the next morning and drove down there. He stood with me for a minute to pay his own respects, then left me out there, telling me to do what I needed to do. I couldn't begin to guess how long I was there. I stood by that grave stone and just talked. I talked to my dad, to God. I told him everything that happened, everything I did. I told him about Chayle and how we had been planning a wedding. Then I prayed that God would not allow me to walk away from that grave stone without leaving everything I have held on to, all the pain, hurt, jealousy, and all the negative feelings, leaving all that had held me back for three years at that grave. I walked away from the grave site a different person. I was 10 feet taller and 100 pounds lighter. I knew that no matter what happened I would be OK. I asked God to bring me peace in everything that was going on and He did not hesitate. I would be more than happy to answer any questions, I am completely transparent.
Article Archives
Date Title Views Status
07/09/11 To Bring You Fame 350 For Sale
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11/11/08 Run To You 752 For Sale
08/27/08 Beautiful 548 For Sale
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06/22/08 Not About Me 580 For Sale
06/20/08 To Die Is Gain 883 For Sale
06/15/08 Forever, Only Your's 655 For Sale
12/16/07 Paper Mache Heart 694 For Sale
11/21/07 Meet You There 721 For Sale
09/25/07 Nothing Can Compare 889 For Sale
08/15/07 What Is Real 657 For Sale
05/07/07 Heaven and Hell? 694 Free to Share
03/17/07 Impossible 614 For Sale
12/23/06 Surround 782 For Sale
07/01/06 By Your Side 635 For Sale
06/18/06 The Worshipers Prayer 635 For Sale
05/16/06 Crying Out 641 For Sale
05/01/06 Open 696 For Sale
05/01/06 Fade 640 For Sale
05/01/06 Your Work 553 For Sale
03/19/06 Break Me 846 For Sale
01/26/06 Deliver Me 723 For Sale
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12/30/05 I have 980 For Sale
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07/09/11 Where Your Name Is Found
07/09/11 To Bring You Fame
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08/06/08 Who You Are
06/25/08 What Is Real
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06/25/08 Meet You There
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06/25/08 Forever, Only Your's
06/25/08 Not About Me

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