It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:
1) Post your first piece.
2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.
3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.
4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.
TRUST JESUS TODAY
Mary, a former character, needed some spice in her life. She was so boring!
Kay reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out her loaded pistol. She woke to the sound of someone walking across the front porch. In bare feet she crept down the hallway staying close to the wall. Silhouetted in the living room window, she saw a dark figure. She turned, hurrying through the kitchen and out the back door, walking across the slick mud she moved toward the front of the farm house. The night was covered in darkness with a chill in the air. Overhead the wet tree branches drip cold rain water down on her. She hid behind a tree and saw a man in a rain coat peering in the living room window. She moved silently across the porch and pointed the pistol at the man.
“I know how to use this,” Kay said with authority in her voice.
He said, “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Sam." She lowered her pistol."I could have shot you." She shook her head."You’re soaking wet, come inside and I’ll make us a drink. You have some explaining to do.”
Sam's arrival brought back the attraction she felt for him. She told herself it was over but the feelings were still there.
While Kay fixed a couple of rum and cokes she watched Sam dry off with a bath towel. His large frame filled the small kitchen. She noticed in his late forties he still kept himself in good shape.
She handed Sam his drink and sat at the table.
She can't believe it's really him. “It is the middle of the night, why didn’t you call and what are you doing here?”
He sat in the chair across from her and took a long drink, “You look good, must be the fresh county air. A nice tan and your hair is blonder.”
“This time of the night I don’t need flattery." She tried not to smile. "I need answers. Start talking,”
“When I left the county airport I tried calling you on my cell. Out here in Dog Patch USA there is no signal. I drove in pouring rain and over roads covered in mud to get here. About a mile back, stuck in the middle of the road is my rental car. The Boss sent me to make sure you’re okay.”
She shook her head. “The Boss sent you to talk me into coming back. That part of my life is over, I’m not going back,”
“We can talk about this in the morning, I need some sleep. Where can I flop?” Sam asked.
Kay slanted him a look.“Upstairs is the guest bedroom." She wanted to stop any ideas he had of sharing her bed and let him know he is nothing to her but a guest.
Sam got up, kissed the top of her head, and obediently headed upstairs.
Sam showing up on her door step brought back the hurt he caused her. She finished her drink and headed for bed.
She met Sam Denning, a former city cop, at the agency’s field training. The field instructor made them partners and they trained together. He became an important part of her life, both on assignments or for more intimate reasons.
She understood a serious relationship between agents is difficult between agents. The agency is B.O.S.S., Battalion of Strategic Surveillance, a secret international law-enforcement agency.
Sam's showing up on her door step brought back the hurt he caused between them.
In the morning, Kay sat in the wooden rock on her front porch an drank her morning coffee while memories played like a movie in her mind's eye.
In the agency she was known as Kay, to the outside world she was known as Mary, author on books of travel. She traveled the world on assignments hiding behind the pretense of an author doing research for her next book. After years of espionage Kay needed a change, she wanted the peaceful life of Mary the writer. When her elderly uncle died she quit the agency and moved back to her home town to take care of her elderly aunt.
Kay heard the screen door bang shut, she watched Sam walked across the porch and sat in the other rocker beside hers. She drank her morning coffee in silence.
Sam stared into his cup of coffee, “Kay, I love you and I’m sorry for hurting you. You never gave us a chance to work things out.”
There is nothing to work out, it’s over for us.” Kay fights back her tears.
“That woman meant nothing to me. It was over before it started.” Sam said. “The reason I’m here is to let you know Girardi is back in the states. I have orders to bring you back to Boss’ headquarters.”
Angelo Girardi dealt in drug trafficking and supplying illegal arms to any country with the highest bid. Sam and Kay were assigned to find evidence against him and end his corrupt dealings. When they found the evidence to convict Girardi he disappeared. Sam and Kay assumed one of his business associates had him killed.
I’m not going back to headquarters, there is no Kay Collins, she doesn’t exist. Girardi doesn’t know of my other identity or my location. I don’t need you here to take care of me; I can take care of myself. After we pull your car out of the mud you can leave,” Kay left to go get her truck.
She had to get Sam out of her life. His being here was a reminder of what they once had. It was something special and he destoryed it.
It took most of the morning to pull the car out of the muddy road. Sam and Kay are covered in wet mud, including the vehicles. Arriving back at the farm they park the car and truck out back by the tool shed. Sam started to wash the thick mud off the vehicles and Kay headed to the farm house for a couple of cold beers. As soon as she walked into the front door, someone grabbed her from behind in a choke hold. She felt a gun pushed into her ribs.
“It wasn’t easy finding you,”
As she struggled to breath, she recongnized Girardi's voice.
He dragged her out the front door and muttered. “Your death will be a tragic accident.”
Kay evaluated the situation. If Girardi wasn't alone then Sam could be dead. He dragged her into the barn. She saw a bomb strapped to one of the beams. When he let go of his grip on Kay’s neck, she brought back her hand and aimed for his face. Girardi grabbed her wrist and kicked her feet out from under her. She laid flat on the dirt floor with his knee in the middle of her chest and his gun on her forehead.
From out of the hay loft Sam jumped on Girardi, his knee hit Kay’s jaw with a hard blow. Everything moved in a blur, she heard a loud gun shot. She tried to stand up and fell into darkness.
Regaining consciousness Kay found herself lying on a gurney, beside it stood a young female agent wearing a Boss flak vest. The female agent had the intense look of a rookie.
Kay asked, “Where is Sam? What happen to Girardi?”
“You have a concussion, you need to lie still. You took a hard blow to your jaw and the bullet grazed the side of your head.” the female agent explained, “Agent Denning has a gun shot wound to his upper right chest, and there is no trace of Girardi. Before the explosion Agent Denning managed to get you both out of the barn but he is unable to give any details.
“I need to see Sam,” Kay sat up.
She felt sick to her stomach and her head pounded. The ringing in her ears made her dizzy. She saw squad securing the perimeter and the forensics team searching the area for any evidence. A pile of black rubble is all that remains of the barn. The Boss had the ability to cover up any incident, to the public it will seem nothing more then a barn fire.
The paramedics roll a gurney carrying Sam toward a waiting helicopter, when they saw Kay they stop. Shaking in fear she walked over to the gurney and touched Sam’s hand. Large gauze covered his right shoulder. The tears run down her face, when she kissed him he opened his eyes. Kay cried, “Sam, I love you.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.
To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.