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The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Porcelain
By
03/28/09
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I remember looking at my friend Marie in the store once and said, "It's hard to stand out when your trying to be the porcelain doll among all the many plastic-barbies,"

This has been an idea in the back of my brain for a very long time. I know it needs a lot of work! this is just the ROUGH DRAFT, (very rough) so it maybe a little difficult to get any rhythm out of it. i'll probably add more later or take some things out, or reorganize. Just tell me if you like the idea or not. thanks everyone.
Perfect face, sapphire blue eyes, little porcelain frame, this doll isnít bought cheap.
Sheís done with poor-packaging and dealt with super-glue repairs.
No room on this box-label to say, ďHandel with care,Ē
Donít you know porcelainís fine like glass?
She comes with a metallic-stand,
watch her stand on her own.
Broken hands, missing legs, cracked face,
this doll is bought cheap.
She comes with a metallic-stand,
watch her fall on her own.
Sequenced dress and synthetic hair,
ruby-red lips, with sculpted cheeks.
An original creation:
No refunds, sheís one of a kind.
Break her you buy her;
but she knows accidents are bound to happen.
With the finest silk and an angelís face,
sheís been decorated with paint and lace.
Wrapped in newspaper; tucked away for years in a brown paper box,
He made room for plastic-Barbie
with thicker skin and slimmer hips.
Wrapped in black bags; tucked away for a day in a tin trash can.
Used and broken,
an angel face once forgotten,
she is decorated no more.
With cracked skin, and strawberry-faded lips, this treasure is thrown away too easy.
Donít you know porcelainís fine like glass?
With value so little,
and beauty once so rare.
Youíve been replaced by little knowledge and a plastic-Barbie face.
Excusive with chips, broken legs, and a tattered dress,
This girlís been through more than you could even guess.
A pretty face she is no more,
next to garbage and debris
this porcelain girl wishes to be free.

Donít you know, donít you know,
porcelain is finer than any glass?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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