Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

BACK TO
CRITIQUE CIRCLE

INSTRUCTIONS
COMPLETE
INSTRUCTIONS HERE

CRITIQUE GUIDELINES

CRITIQUE TIPS

HELP TOUR

It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST





TITLE: Blood-Boiler
By David (The Goliath Assassin)
03/25/09
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND

Blood-Boiler was written to the membership of a secular poetry page that I've been part of for five years and counting. It's a selfish write, to be sure... but it's only one half of what I had to say. The other song (a rap) that I wrote for them is called "What Keeps Us Bound," and it's got a much more forgiving and "love them where they're at" quality about it. Any thoughts you have on this heavy-metal rant are well-appreciated. Just be mindful that I do not subscribe at this time, so PMing me directly would not be very useful.
I heard that… you were mad… mad that you never hear from me.
I heard you… you don’t care… but you’re still an absentee.
I heard that… that you want… just want attention for free.
I heard that… so what about… what are you doing foooor ME?

Some people want a charming, love song
Others want a forest of trees.
Some of you want a suicidal-all-wrong.
Some want to see the murder wound bleed!

I want nothing to do with the corporeal!
The world I see just gets in the way!
I use it to put into focus
Intrinsic dysfunction of today!

You want to write up a storm that will ROCK ME?
You want a guaranteed reply?
You gotta’ get up inside of my armor!
You gotta make a MARAUDER CRY!

I want to see the heart BREAK THROUGH THE RIBCAGE!
I want to see the mind JUST EXPLODE!
I want to see the soul RISE THROUGH ATTRITION!
I want to see the BLACK-FISTED ATONE!

(I want a story of overcoming a life of inner turmoil…
And if I haven’t said it already…)
I WANT A SONG THAT MAKES THE BLOOD BOIL!

I WANT A BLOOD-BOILER!
You’re all… HEATING IT SLOW!
I WANT A BLOOD-BOILER!
Your soul doesn’t… WANNA’ BLEED THOUGH!

I heard that… you been gone… almost as long as I have.
I heard that… when you’re here… your writing makes people laugh.
Or sigh… or cry… for lack of human contact.
Hit me… thrill me… the poet’s SILENT CONTRACT!

Some people want a golden-red sunset
And some want a calming breeze.
Some people want a sweat-stained bed sheet
Body worship that weakens the knees!

I want nothing to do with the corporeal!
The world I see just gets in the way!
Point a loaded gun at INJUSTICE!
A case so strong the whole jury is swayed!

You want a poem that STIRS US TO ACTION?
You want a beacon to CUT THROUGH THE MIRE?
You gotta’ get up inside of the CHAOS!
Light the SITUATION ON FIRE!


I want to see the heart BREAK THROUGH THE RIBCAGE!
I want to see the THUNDER IN YOUR EYES!!
I want to see the soul RISE THROUGH ATTRITION!
I want to see the OPPRESSED REALIZE!

(I want a scene where old women praise the hero’s toil…
As if I hadn’t said it already…)
I WANT A SONG THAT MAKES THE BLOOD BOIL!

AAAAGGHH! I WANT A BLOOD-BOILER!
YOU’RE ALL… you’re all heating it WAY TOO SLOW!
OOOOHHHH! I WANT A BLOOD-BOILER!
Your hippy/bling-bling/abortion… DOESN’T WANNA’ BLEED THOUGH!

AAAAGGHH! I WANT A BLOOD-BOILER!
YOU’RE ALL… you’re all heating it WAY TOO SLOW!
OOOOHHHH! I WANT A BLOOD-BOILER!
But I can see that your soul… DOESN’T WANNA’ BLEED THOUGH!

OH!

So don’t come back writing about how no one understands your pain…
And don’t start with the first idea that farts inside your brain…
Don’t expect people to listen… and be thankful when they do.
Don’t let them say you never read your share when all is through.

Just write this for yourself… A record of your stay.
You’ll always be your most attentive fan anyway.
You never expected to get your fingernails chipped doing this?
A poet without weathered hands is simply something that does not exist.

I WANT TO HEAR A BLOOD-BOILER!
I WANT TO COME ALIVE!
I WANT TO HEAR A BLOOD-BOILER!
I JUST LOOK INTO MY EYES!

I WANT TO READ A BLOOD-BOILER!
I WANT JUSTICE TO SHINE!
THIS LIFE IS TEMPORARY!
LET’S MAKE IT WORTH OUR TIME!
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
YOUR CREDITS

LOGIN HERE




REMINDER:

REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.

VIEWING CRITIQUES:

To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.