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By Jide Oboise

Writing as the Lord wills to, touch and change lives in real life situations
1Samuel 25
Verses 23-27: And when Abigail saw David, she hastened, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said to him, upon me my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid.
Let not my Lord, I pray thee regard this man of Belial, even as his name is, so is he Nabal is his name and FOLLY is with him; but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send
Now therefore, my lord....
Verses 9-38

This is an excerpt from Nabal and Abigail's story, Abigail's case was quite pathetic because the Bible described her as beautiful and wise Nabal on the other hand, appeared rude, nonchalant, pompous and arrogant.

Abigail on the contrary, showed a gentle, diplomatic and wise mien.

How can a woman, with so much effrontery and bluntness, describe her husband as foolish?
It seems there is more that meets the eye, than what we are seeing in this excerpt.

Diligence, good manners, integrity, humility and impartiality all of these are key factors in an individual and an achiever's life, but when the spouse does not manifest the same character but rather frustrates every effort of the partner, that spells doom from the start.

Just like in the case of Jabes, he was named as sorrow from birth and this affected his whole destiny until he cried unto the Lord for mercy, liberty and a new name; freedom from that which had held him bound for so long.

As an event or situation can mar and bind an individual to an unfruitful life in agony so can another human being who is joined in matrimony if care is not taken and the right choice made.

The man Nabal was described as wealthy and great, his wife, a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance (1Samuel 25: 2-3), what attracted this two together and what kept them for so long.

I wonder how long Nabal had abused this woman of good standing and wise countenance, physically, psychologically, emotionally; daily bashing, degrading and stripping her off all dignity by his foolishness in decision making for the family, his actions and inactions in drunken stupor, steering the helm of an entire family-boat towards dangerous, destructive rocks and poor Abigail, always watching helplessly unable to challenge him as the head of the home.

So how is it possible to be in a marriage like Nabal and Abigail's and survive the odds or rather should i say , still remain sane as some cases could be rather trying to the spouse's patience and nerves?

What are the sacrifices to be made to have any success or at least peace?

Are you in such a situation as this?

Enduring rather than enjoying your marriage?

Are you suffering in silent resignation in a relationship that continually insults and degrades your person, your spouse continually spits blasphemies and accusations at you, sometimes even hitting and molesting you, and you can not speak out nor tell anyone about it

Even a silent scream for help for deliverance you can not utter,just to be saved from this quagmire that is threatening to drown, engulf and suffocate the life out of you?

From the Bible narration we gather that a situation took place, which showed us the kind of person Nabal is and how Abigail his wife in her character-type, managed to sail through in such a relationship.

Show me your partner/spouse, close friend or employer and I'll tell you how far you'll go in life; this simply means that your relationship (especially the close type that you are involved with regularly) determines how far you'll go in life, regarding your dreams, hopes and aspirations, because such will either encourage or discourage you (directly or indirectly) towards or from your goal and focus in life.

This happens usually, because the other person feels threatened or lacks foresight and does not have the same vision as you!

This is a very dicey and uncomfortable situation to be stuck in, especially in marriage because how can two work together except they agree?

Our number one enemy also has a role to play; curses and ancestral bondage are causative factors in some cases.

Have you ever heard the saying, `opposites attract?

How true is this?

Can two obviously different characters actually succeed in a relationship and make it a permanent arrangement?

How can two obviously opposite characters like Nabal and Abigail survive in such a serious relationship like marriage and be together for all the time that they were?

Whilst we are at it let us remember that God gave us some instructions in the Bible concerning union as He gave us many others that are primarily and secondarily for our own good.
The Lord said not to be unequally yoked, these are some of the resultant factors to disobedience in this direction

Even in our unfaithfulness the Lord remains faithful.
He makes a way of escape like he did eventually in Abigail's case (Not saying that all situations will be solved like this BUT HE WILL MAKE A WAY OF ESCAPE!)

David said, 'You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are:
[a] a broken spirit;
(b) a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

Take wise and positive steps when in such a situation:
Seek right counsel.

Speak prayerfully to the right person in confidence about your issue,do not keep it all bottled up and suffer all alone in silence.......Two heads they say are better than one !

Seek out groups that deal with such issues, you need good counsel in situations like this and can never tell where the right one will come from,NEVER EVER MAKE A RASH DECISION, NO MATTER HOW DESPERATE THE SITUATION LOOKS AND FEELS LIKE!

When in such Nabal-like situation,
Prayer is the ULTIMATE key,

Pray for wisdom, for comfort, strength, long suffering (if the Lord wills) and faithfulness unto the Lord, there definitely shall be light, at the end of the very dark tunnel.

May the good Lord help us all, AMEN!
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.