Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!






It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



TITLE: Legend of the Yoshisaurus (ep. 8)
By Jacob Gibson

I think this episode is one of my top favorites for some reason. Maybe because this is where the "real story" begins and big things begin to happen. Like always, I'd love to hear how I can improve anything. Thank you for reading. I hope you like it too.
Episode 8: A Time to Mourn

In the days following the dance party, the weather began to change suddenly and look worse. Everyone knew that a bad storm was coming and prepared for the worst. Yoshi was put to work to help out with preparations and was so busy that he didn't have much time to visit Victoshia. When he did have time, he tried to find her but couldn't find her anywhere. She often wasn't at home, and when he finally did find her she said she still wasn't feeling well and left. Now he felt confused and worried that something wasn't right One night while Yoshi was sleeping he awoke in the middle of the night. It was still dark. But he could feel the wind picking up and blowing on him so much that he couldn’t stay asleep. He tried to ignore it and fall asleep, but then light rain fell on his back and made it even more diffictult. Finally, when he could hear someone yelling at him, he knew that he wouldn’t get any more rest.

“Yoshi! Yoshi! Wake up, son!” said a desperate voice behind him.

“Uh? What?” asked Yoshi. He opened his eyes, got up, and turned around to see his father Hiroshi running towards him.

“We think that there’s going to be a hurricane today sometime! Come on! We gotta go home to help your mother and siblings pack and then hed to the shelter!”

“Oh no!” yelled Yoshi through the noisy wind. “Not that... not today! Okay, Dad, I’ll go with you!” He stretched his powerful legs and then let his father jump on his back and he ran to their home in the jungle. Everyone he passed by was packing up their things and setting up protection around their huts. Yoshi hated hurricanes, and he wondered how bad he would like it now that he was so large and wouldn’t fit in the... oh no!

“Dad! I just thought of something! How am I supposed to go in the shelter with everyone?”

“I know, I’m so sorry about that! But we’ll think of something. Right now we need to focus on helping our family!”

They arrived at home and saw family and some neighbors quickly stuffing things in bags, gathering fruit into barrels, and everything else they could do. Yoshi's mother Sanya greeted them and then asked him to help with the packing, so he used his mouth to pick up the supplies they gave to him and put them into a pile.

“Thank you, bro!” said his brother. “It’s a good thing you can move things so easily!”

“Yeah! But how I am supposed to be safe from the storm when I can’t fit in one of the shelters we’re going to?”

“Don’t worry,” said Sanya. “We have that a plan for that. Okay! Now we’re done with that. How about we start taking these things to a shelter and make a few trips back and forth. Then we’ll come back and deal with the house. Wait... about the trips back and forth... Yoshi, how many items can you carry in your mouth without dropping or swallowing them?”

“You really want me to do that?” asked Yoshi with surprise. “Uh... I don’t know. Probably a lot.”

“Great,” said Hiroshi. “And when you’re done with helping us do you think you could help some of the others too with the harder tasks? I hate to ask you that but you’re so big and helpful now that you’ll be a real blessing to them. They would appreciate it.”

“Uh... yeah. Sure, Dad.”

So the Zorus family grabbed as many items as they could and carried them in their arms, in carts, and even in their mouths (if the items were concealed). They made a long journey with many other Yoshis to the tall hills where the shelters waited for them. Yoshi managed to stuff 50 items in his mouth, his face puffed out like a hamster, and carry them without a problem, and also let all of his family ride on his back that he had room for. They finally reached the top of one of the hills and then put their labeled supplies in one of the storage buildings along with the others. He looked over and noticed other dinosaurs jumping up floating platforms, or the older Yoshis riding on platforms that rode up an invisible rail to the top. It made him remember when he used to do that as a kid.

Once the family had gone back two more times and got everything taken care of, Yoshi did what his father asked and looked for other creatures to help. His family did the same and split up to look for who they could help, like was their custom. The younger Yoshis stayed on the hill with some of the adults to make sure they would stay safe.

Yoshi ran from building to building, asking what he could do and doing as much as he could. Everyone thanked him over and over for helping to carry their things or move them around. The most amazing thing that happened though was when he was helping Joshua’s family.

“You know, kid,” said Josh’s father, “I’m real grateful that you’re here and that you’re so strong. And I think you look pretty sharp with your colors today.”

“No problem, sir. But... I haven’t looked at my reflection yet today, just my feet which I see are blue. What does the rest of me look like?”

“Your skin is several overlapping patches of shades of blue all over ya, except for the white of course. Yeah, you got pale blue, light blue, sky blue, blue, dark blue, and... whatever other kinds of blue there are. Heh heh!”

The mother forced a smile and said “I have to say you look pretty stormy today, Mr. Zorus.”

“Heh, yeah I guess I do. I’ll have to see myself sometime.”

“You know,” said the wife, “We’re really sorry about before. We were among some of the Yoshis that wanted you to leave the island at first, when we couldn’t see how important you are to us. Now we see how wrong we acted.”

“Yes,” said the husband, “We can’t begin to tell you how sorry and guilty we feel. We don’t deserve your help at all, much less your sympathy. No one should be discriminated against based on their appearance. Thank you for saving us even when we didn’t show love to you.”

Yoshi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. But he tried not to act like he cared. “Eh, that’s alright. I know how you must’ve felt. I don’t know if I would have even trusted me either!”

Joshua, who was standing not too far from Yoshi, said, “You are much more mature than I am, Yoshe. If I were in your... feet, I would probably be madder than a red flying wiggler!”

Joshua’s brother started to speak, but he was interrupted by a shout from someone running towards them. It was Boshi’s mother, a light orange Yoshi. “Yoshi!” she shouted. “Yoshi! I need your help!”

“Uh... okay. Do you want me to help you next with moving?”

“No no! It’s just that... I haven’t seen my Boshi this morning and the weather is getting worse! Have you seen him today? Do you know where he could be? I just don’t know!”

Yoshi didn’t like what he was hearing. “Oh no. I haven’t seen him since yesterday, sorry. He can’t be too hard to find though. Maybe he’s clowning around on the sky platforms. But if I ever see him I’ll let you or him know.” What was Boshi up to now? Most of the time you can’t get away from him but now he disappears.

Boshi’s mom rubbed her eyes and said, “Uh... thank you. I bet... he’s okay and we’ll find him soon. Don’t worry about it.”

Josh’s mom offered to help her when they finished and so did the rest of the family. Yoshi determined that he would do whatever he could to find him for his family’s sake. Even if it meant he had to get washed away by the storm.

- Y – O – S – H – I -

Koopa looked out his window by himself and saw the dreadful weather around Yoshi’s Island in the distance. He sighed. No attack today it seemed. The Kingdom’s next plan was going to be a real doozy. Dr. K and the other engineers had built a large robotical Spiny that could swim, fly, and shoot spikes from it’s back, but it wouldn’t be as effective during a hurricane that could toss it around. And if that wasn’t enough, they also had to move the castle away from the coast just in case the hurricane grew too large and came over their land too. What a disappointment.

“Oh well,” said Koopa to himself. “At least when the storm is over... they’ll be as vulnerable as a cow in the middle of King Klepto’s Desert. Bwahaha!” He sat down in his large cushioned chair in front of the beeping control panel. “Now, what should I do to keep myself entertained? I could ask my fools to do their thing until I threaten them to stop. I could taunt the prisoners, haven’t done that for a few days. Or play Super Koopa World 2 and try to beat that final level. Uh...”

The bored turtle king pondered about this for awhile but just didn’t feel like doing anything he could think of. But then he remembered the block of modeling clay in a drawer. “When was the last time I used that? I wonder if I’m still as good at that as I was as a kid. Let’s see...”

Koopa pulled out a drawer and removed a green blob of clay out of the container. In a matter of seconds he was shaping the mold in his hands and creating the most amazing works of art. “Mom always did say that I was good at using things with my hands. And she was right. Good thing I let her stay here so she could help cook for us each day! Bwahaha!”

The clay continued to transform in his skillful hands, and when he made it look like a model of Yoshi Zorus he admired it for a second and then pounded it with his fist into a pancake. “Ha ha ha ha! Feel the pain, loser! How do you like that, Dino! You have no chance of escape now! ‘No, don’t hurt me Koopa! I surrender!’ Too late! Ah-ha ha! Hey... why am I talking like this?! Grrrrrrrr.” He rolled it back into a ball and thought of something else to make.

The king kept messing with it and then poked his scaly finger deep into the clay and pulled it back out again... but suddenly he couldn’t move. Boom! Something felt like it had exploded inside of his brain. He sat there speechless. “What was that? Why do I feel this way?” He looked at the hole in the clay, put his finger in, and took it out again. The feeling came again. This time he realized what he had observed within this substance and began to look at it in a whole new way. He stuck his finger back in again and this time poked it up through the top. Next, he pulled the clay apart into two equal-sized lumps and squished them back together again. He dropped the clay. His eyes bulged out. His mouth dropped open. His entire body froze for a few seconds and then...


Two large red iron doors creaked opened and a weary tortoise doctor soon stepped into the room and approached the king. “Yes, your highness? Did you want me to give you some laughing gas to cheer you up again?”

“How dare you say something like that! I thought I told you all that it was my rediculous son that told you to do that while I was asleep. No, come close I need to tell you something important, but try not to overreact about this. I need to hear your opinion about something.”

K. crossed his arms over his white lab coat. “If this is another trick like last time—“

“No, I promise it’s not. Just get over here before I shove this clay in your mouth!”

The doctor walked up to the king and leaned towards him. Koopa whispered into his ear, “Okay, now I think I just got a really excellent idea but I don’t know if I should ask the troops about it yet.”

K. looked at the door then looked back at him and whispered “Go on.”

“Well, it may sound a little crazy but... here it is.” Koopa whispered some more things to him and K. listened carefully to every word. But as soon as he heard the whole thing and understood the implications, he almost screamed in Koopa’s ear.

“Yaaaaaaaaaahhh!! NO WAY! You... can’t be serious about this!”

“Just think about it, Dr.” Koopa looked up and grinned. “It’s 100% brilliant! Definitely one of my best ideas so far. You just don’t understand, do you?!”

“No, I really do. And I must say that it is brilliant, but... no! It just can’t be done! Do you know how long it would take for us to build that! How many coins we would have to shell out? And what about the other method we have of doing that which could work almost exactly like your idea? This could be the single biggest waste of money EVER and only used one time! Don’t give it another thought!! It’s nothing more than a big opportunity cost.”

“More like a great opportunity! I don’t care about time or money... as long as we have something that will allow me to accomplish one of my two main goals, it would be worth every second. I don’t need to prove how great this idea is because it speaks for itself. Res ipsa loquitur.”

“But your highness—“

“I made up my mind. From this moment on, we are going to focus all of our plans on this creation.”


“We are going to take apart the Togezo Tankers and use the parts for this new invention. We will move the castle back to the shore so we can be in place for attack.”

“No, please think about it first!” K. looked like he would have a nervous break down.

“We will do our best to make it work, so we can find what I have been searching for and destroy that Yoshi once and for all!”

Dr. K. fell to his knees. “No no no!!”

“And,” said Koopa with his fist raised, “It will be the most spectacular attack in all of Mushroom world history!”

The doctor continued to beg him not to do it, but Koopa had made up his mind and wasn’t going to turn back. Whatever he planned to do, it was going to be big. But it wouldn’t be good for either the Yoshis or the Koopas.

Koopa walked back to the window and shouted “You dinos won’t see us for awhile, but when you do... get ready for a nasty little surprise!! BwahahahaHA!”

-Y – O – S – H – I -

“Bo-shi! Bo-shi! Where are you?! Can’t you see the storm is coming? We need you to come back with us right now! Boshi!!” Yoshi was dashing around the whole island and bellowing for his friend. He had been at this for quite awhile but somehow he still couldn’t find him.

“Yoshi!” called out Hiroshi, “I’m real sorry but it’s time to give it up. We need to go back to the hill now so we’ll be ready. Your friend should turn up there if he’s on the island.”

“But what if he’s hurt or unconscious or something? He may not survive it out here! Please let me keep looking a little longer.”

“No, son! I know completely how you feel. And that’s why you’re coming back with me so that you don’t get hurt. I want to find Boshi as much as his parents do, but I also want you to be safe with us.”

“Dad, I’m not weak. I’m a big, tough dinosaur now. I can handle this. Monsters can’t defeat me and nature can’t either.”

Hiroshi looked angry now. “Yoshi, now listen to me! I will not leave here until you come with me to the high land. Do you really think that I could go back and tell your mom that you’re down here? How would everyone feel when they hear that? I do believe that you could survive this, but we won’t let you take that chance. When your mom and I said we would help you in your problems, that meant also protecting you from yourself.”

“Yeah, but—“

“And if something happened to you and then you couldn’t protect us from our enemies, wouldn’t that be worse than just one dinosaur perishing? The world can’t afford to lose someone like you. Why give up your whole life for something that will only last a short time? Please... I... I love you too much for that. I would rather die than to watch you suffer.”

Yoshi stared at his feet and thought about what he would say next. But when he looked at his father’s face, angry but also very concerned, he gave up and followed his father back to the hill. His family was very happy to see him and he was glad that everyone had made it there.

Within a few hours, the hurricane finally arrived and pounded the island with all of its force. It was a terrible storm, probably the worst they had ever gone through, but everyone stayed safe on top of the hill. The buildings were surrounded by walls made of big sturdy logs, and the wind and water couldn’t knock them down unless it grew very bad. Finally, it ended and the people walked back down to their homes with their supplies.

Yoshi dreaded this part. How much did they lose this time? Did the house survive? No. He came to the area and found nothing but a pile of wood and trees. No! Not our home! Even though I don't stay in it anymore... why did this have to happen. His family felt the same way he did.

The Zorus family weren’t the only ones to lose their precious belongings. Almost everyone else experienced the same thing and cried about their losses. Some lost hardly anything... some lost more than others. But at least they were all alive. Tragically, the same couldn’t be said for many of the unprepared and less intelligent island creatures.

When the dinosaurs felt good enough to move on, they went to friends and neighbours to help them rebuild. Not just them, but also a few of their friends from Dinosaur Land came to the island in boats and helped them as well. Everyone worked hard and appreciated each others dedication.

Yoshi thought about whether he should help someone, but then he remembered Boshi and went back to looking for him. He couldn’t give up now. Even though the storm had done its damage. Four times, he covered the island calling out his friend’s name and straining to hear a reply. But there was no response.

“Boshi! Where are ya? Boshi, please! Don’t be dead! We don’t want to lose you. Your family couldn’t take this! Answer me already!!!” He breathed hard and finally stopped running. Should he keep going a little longer? No, it was time for a break, he decided. The tired blue dino came back to his village and then sat down on the shore to think.

“This is so terrible. Some of my good friends have died... Boshi could be dead... our house is destroyed again...” he laid down on his side and continued to think while he watched the waves. “At least I’m alive though. I guess I should remember that. If it wasn’t for Dad I might have ended up like them. Sigh. Life is so terrible sometimes. Why do I talk to myself so much? Who cares. Hmmmm... I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast, but it’s getting late now. Maybe I’ll find a quick snack and—“

“Yoshi?” called out a soft voice from behind him.

“Huh! Who is that?”

A dark pink Yoshi walked in front of his face. “Hey there. How are you doing?”

“Vicky!” Yoshi smiled a little. “Hi! I’m SO glad to see you finally! I hope you didn’t lose anything too.”

Victoshia smiled back and sat down in front of him. She had something in her hands. “Yeah, I did, but... I’ll be fine. Here, I brought you a chocolate covered mellon. Don't worry, I didn't cough on it.” She set it down in front of Yoshi and stepped away.

“Thanks! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I am WAY hungry. Yay for chocolate! Heh heh heh!” He stretched out his tongue and happily slurped up the tiny treat. She came back to the spot and sat down. Then she looked down at the ground and swallowed. Maybe this was a bad time to tell him. After all this was a big tragedy and... no, he deserved to know this. It was time to tell him.

“Vicky? Is there something bothering you? I mean, besides all of this? I understand if you feel upset from this and—“

“No, it’s not that.” Tell him now. Don’t be afraid. You can’t hide it any longer. It will only make it worse for both of you. She sniffed and looked away from Yoshi’s eyes.

“V-vicky, please tell me. You haven’t been acting like yourself. Even if you are sick, you... I... what’s going on?”

“Yoshi... I... can’t tell you. I... can’t.” She looked really sad now and Yoshi thought he might feel worse if she wouldn’t explain soon.

“Vicky please. I hate to watch you cry. Just tell me everything and I promise not to make fun of you or get mad. I... just... uh. Please?”

“Well... you know... it’s nothing, but... sniff...” She covered her eyes for a second and then looked at him again. “I... I...”


“I... I...” Vicky sniffed again, took a deep breath and said, “I... can’t be your girlfriend anymore.” She took a deep breath and stared at the sand, waiting to hear his reaction.

Yoshi didn’t believe it and thought he heard her wrong. “W-what? What did you say?” Now he thought that he was going to cry.

She looked up again with soaked eyes and a running nose. “Yoshi, you deserve to know the truth. The reason you haven’t seen me for a long time is because... I’ve... been hiding from you. That day when you became what you are now, I didn’t know what to do. I stayed away as long as I could. I lied about feeling sick because I felt guilty. And I didn’t feel ready to tell you. But then I knew it would kill me if I never said anything so... I’m... sorry.”

Yoshi felt his eyes get wet and his head begin to hurt. “But... why?”

“Because... I know this sounds bad, but... because I don’t want to date a mutant. I don’t want... one day to marry someone who might not be able to give me children. Or who would make them sick and die. Forgive me, Yoshi. I still care about you but I can’t stay with you. I...” she stopped and noticed some people walking towards them, but when they looked at her crying they decided to leave them alone. “I’m so sorry. I don't want to date someone that I wouldn’t want to marry.”

“But I could still turn back some day! We... don’t know if it’s permanent or not. There could still be way to have normal children, if we ever did get married. Vicky, please... we’ve been together for three years. I’m still the same guy you’ve known but in a larger body. Don’t do this to us. Just wait a little longer and see what happens. Forget about marriage right now.”

Vicky shook her head. “I’m sorry... but... I can’t. There’s no way for me to explain this except that I just can’t do it. We need to find other people. You wouldn’t be happy with me anyway.”

“YES I WOULD!” Yoshi felt stinging tears coming out now. He thought he could feel his heart getting crushed. His head felt like a throbbing volcano. “Vicky, I could protect you from danger. I could help you with anything you want. But please... I NEED YOU NOW! My life is so difficult. You may be the only thing to help me get back on my feet. I... I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I don’t know if I can keep going on without you. I have been feeling so sad and depressed lately. You’re the only thing I’ve thought of since this happened and hoped that you would stay with me and encourage me through my pain. I don’t want to make you feel guilty but... please hold on with me just a little longer. You’ll give me hope and peace. I’ll give you love and keep you safe from life’s storms. Please. Guh... guh...”

Victoshia didn’t say anything for a second. Yoshi didn’t know what else to say so he waited for her. Finally she said, “Yoshi... I can’t understand why I feel this way but I just do and can’t change that.”

“You can’t always trust your feelings though, Vicky!!! Take some time to think about all this!!!”

“But, I want you to know Yoshi that you’ll always be my good friend if you still want to be. I won’t forget all the wonderful times. I hope that you won’t hate me and that you can find someone who can give you the love you deserve. Good bye... Yoshe.”

{Super Mario 64 “Jolly Roger Bay” violin and other stringed instruments arrangement}

She got up and hugged his neck, then walked away. Yoshi said nothing at all. When she had finally left the area, he made a mad dash into the water in front of him and went far away into the deeper water so he could release his tear drops in the ocean. He watched the fish swimming peacefully in the distance.

“Why me?! WHY?! Why has all of these things happened to me? I can’t bear this anymore!! Everything I have is gone... first my championship game, then my body, next my home... and NOW EVEN MY GIRLFRIEND!! My life has become a living nightmare! I’ve been cursed by the silent, merciless gods... that probably don’t even exist! They all laugh at me and kick me around like a rock. There is no more happiness in life that I can find.

“What’s the point of living anymore? Was there ever a point to living? The second I became what I am now, everything became pointless. Nothing! Worthless! Despised and completely forgettable! I wish so much that I had never been born. Why couldn’t I have just died while I was still in my egg so I wouldn’t have to face this cruel world? I wouldn’t have to give my kindness to anyone who would steal it from me without giving anything back. I wish that everyone would just forget that day and never think of it again! There is no Yoshi Zorus. He was never born.

“If my grief could be put on a scale and measured, how much would it weigh? I feel like I’ve been crushed underneath all of my endless problems. If only people could understand but there’s no way they could even begin to know how I feel. Maybe if I could put what I say in a book, then I could really explain it and people would begin to understand. I just want to die right now and never come back again!! Never never NEVER!”

He mourned like this for awhile and when he finally felt better decided to walk back to shore. There he found his yellow-skinned sister, Angel waiting for him. She looked glad to see him but also very sad too.

“Angel. What... do you want?”

“Hey, Yoshi. I... have to talk to you. I’m so sorry about this.” She lowered her head and touched her chin.

“What do you mean?” Yoshi tried to sound happy. “I just... wanted to eat some sea food that’s all. I’m not sad that we lost our house or anything. It happens, you know.”

“Yoshi, you don’t have to cover it. I know already.”

“WHAT?! Uh... I... uh...”

“Don’t worry, I won’t criticize you. Yoshi, while you were gone from school getting tutoring and I was at school, Vicky told me and some other girls what she though about you. She said that she felt worried about what happened to you but also that she thought she might ‘have to’ break up with you too.”

“You didn’t tell me about this?!” Yoshi looked a little mad.

“Just listen. Vicky kept bringing this up with me about this and then finally she... asked me if I could tell you what she felt like she couldn’t. But I refused. I didn’t feel like I should do it but asked that she be the one, since it would sound much better and more caring. So... I waited for her to tell you and worried so much about how this would make you feel. I told mom and dad to let me talk to you about this first though so... here I am.”

“I appreciate that but I’m fine, okay?! Just let me move on and stop tearing off old bandages.” He coughed.

“No! Look, I just want to give you some comfort. I just want you to know that... you deserve much better than her. She has no idea how great you are and... how much you mean to all of us. No matter how big you are.” Angel looked behind her to make sure that Vicky wasn’t there and continued. “If you ask me, she’s acting very selfish by leaving you just because you changed a little. And she chose a very bad time to talk with you about this. That rotten little--! I mean... no one should be judged by their appearance, and especially not abandoned when they really need support. You definitely deserve someone like that and I pray... uh, hope that you’ll find that someone. Our family cares about you so much. Maybe even more than you may think.”

Yoshi suddenly remembered Koshi and how she still liked him. But he didn’t know if he would really want to like her in that sort of way. Did she know about this too? Is that why she wanted to dance with him? He forgot about it and returned his attention to Angel.

“If I wasn’t your sister, you know... maybe... well, nevermind! But I want you to have the right person.”

Yoshi smiled a little. “Thanks. Heh, but I probably wouldn’t date you even if you weren’t my sister!”

Angel gave him a funny look and then threw some sand at his leg. “Yeah? Well same here, bro! Ha! But Yoshi... one more thing I want to remind you. Please find some help. If you don’t, then you could become very depressed. I don’t want you to feel this way. These tragedies have been very tough on all of us, and you especially have been through many very unforgiving times. But we’ll make it through like always. Please don’t give up hope. Find help. We love you and really do care about you.”

Angel slowly turned around and got ready to leave. But then she looked back and added, “And Yoshi, if you... ever want to talk to me then I would be glad to listen. I’ll go and leave you alone now. Sorry to bother you.”

“No, I’m glad you did. Thank you, Angel. I’ll be with you guys soon.”

Angel nodded and silently said goodbye before leaving. Yoshi laid down again and thought about things. He remembered what his compassionate sister said to him. She really did seem to care about him. But did he really need to have emotional support like the girls always seem to want?

No, thought Yoshi. I don’t need to tell anyone. I just want to stay here and be alone. I’ll pull through this myself like I always do. Besides, no one understands how I feel... no one even cares about me anyway... no one even cares about YOU anyway!!

“Huh?! What was that strange sound? Am I’m hearing voices? Am I’m losing my mind now? W-w-w-what’s going on with my brain?” Yoshi looked around him to see if he heard someone besides him, but he was alone. And he kept hearing things.

{Super Mario 64: “Boo’s Merry-go-round”}

No one cares about you! No one ever has! There’s nothing left to do now. Give up. Everyone hates you and wouldn’t care if you were alive or dead. Your home is in pieces. Your girlfriend has deserted you forever. Everyone wishes you would leave the island. There’s nothing left to live for but more misery and endless sorrow. You don’t deserve this at all. They are the ones who deserve to feel like you do!”

I can’t be thinking this! It sounds like my voice... only deeper. But I’m not trying to think this stuff!

“Yoshi,” repeated his sister’s words, “We care about you. Find help. Tell someone how you feel. We’ll help you.”

Again, Yoshi pushed her voice aside and continued to listen to the other voice that seemed to understand how he felt. They wouldn’t help you, don’t believe it. They would just lie to you so you could help them like always and do their jobs that they’re too lazy to do. You deserve so much better! Your friends and family are complete fools and can’t appreciate you, now that you’re so ugly and a big emotional dino wreck! If you life had a purpose then it was to be nothing but a laughingstock to the world. Trapped in this body and no way to live the same way again.

“Get help, Yoshi! Please!” repeated Angel. Yoshi turned his head to the other side.

There’s only one thing you can do now. Kill yourself. End all of your problems. It will be quick and won’t hurt for long. Everything will disappear and you can escape your torment and the monster known as life. But first... kill everyone on the island!! Then you will have the revenge that is due, and peace at last. Nothing else will work. Until you do something to fix this. Death is the answer to all of your problems! It will set you FREE!

Now Angel’s voice became a desperate plea. “Please, Yoshi! PLEASE!! We all care about you. Listen to me! The one who actually cares for you! ‘It’ doesn’t really love you but we do! Yoshiiiiiiii!!” He ignored it for the third time and lost his final chance of escape. The voices were growing louder, drowning out the rest of his thoughts, and began to blend together in a angry, taunting yell.

There’s no hope for you! Nothing left but hopelessness and—“ “The world wants you to die and you might as well just take its advice. Is there really anything left to live for in this awful existence that you call—“ “If there are gods in this world then why did they let this happen to you? So they could laugh at your pain?! Isn’t it obvious by now that—“ “How could you not realize the way people used you for their own selfish purposes? You should have known all along that they only—“ “Stop listening to those selfish morons and just kill them already! Kill them!... Kill them!... Kill them!... Kill them!...

Yoshi sniffed and his quivering eyes filled up with tears again. He struggled to keep from crying but the more he held it in the more he wanted to let it out. Yoshi moaned in both anger and sorrow. He slowly shut his moist, blood-shot eyes and heard nothing else but those last two words repeating themselves with the sound of a steadily pounding drum. At last everything became dark and he fell into a quiet sleep, but it was far from anything you could call peaceful. The world held its breath and dreaded what disasters tomorrow could bring.

{Yoshi’s Island “Yoshi dies”} To Be Continued...
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.



REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.


To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.