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THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Teahouse Convictions
By Valarie Sullivan
08/31/08
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Looking for flow, dialogue, verb use. Thanks in advance!
ďThatís called pre-occupation. Oh! Sorry! I didnít mean to make you spill your tea!
Do you have a napkin?
There, see? No harm done!

What am I doing here? Canít an old friend come visit another old friend?

Iíll ignore that rude comment and chalk it up to hormones.

The silent treatment will not get rid of me, either. I can read you like a book.

No, not mental telepathy. Itís all in the posture, body language, facial expressions, the way the cup rattles in your saucer. Oh, hey! You really ARE shook up, arenít you, old girl? Need another napkin?

I know just what you are going through. Children all grown up. The husband at home, but his mind is elsewhere. Housework is piling up. The deadlines at work screaming at you. Wondering if this is all there is. I know just how you feel. Lonely. Out of sorts. Like you have no purpose. Worthless.

Now, donít cry! This is a public place! You want to make a spectacle of yourself? Get out your tissue.
There. Thatís much better. Wipe the jelly off the corner of your mouth.

Iíve been telling you for years that the bar is where itís at! You donít have to have an affair with anyone, just dance a few dances, drink a few drinks, and have some laughs! A good time! Get out of the house! Leave that old windbag at home!

Get out of this old teahouse! It is like an old lady, torn lace, over done rouge and all. And, please! Canned harps and violins? This place doesnít even have the class to hire live musicians.

I know where to go! There is a place just around the corner. Good music, decent pricesÖWhat did you say?

I didnít say that. I didnít say that your purpose is at home. You donít have meaning in your family, thatís what I have been trying to tell you! You are only going to find fulfillment with me! Good times! Meet new people. Spread your wings, girl!

Donít you be quoting scripture verses at me, missy! I know the bible backwards and forwards, better than you EVER will! None of that ďGreater is HeÖĒ stuff!

Yes! See? There is more to life! Been saying that for years and you never listenÖ.

What are you talking about: going home to cook your husbandís favorite meal? Havenít you heard a word I said?

Hey! Come back here! Iím not done with you! WaitÖ.

Rats! Now what am I going to tell the boss?
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REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.

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