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The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Breach
By Lesley-Anne Evans
08/19/08
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I'm wanting to compare breathing with breaching... but don't know if this is working... am I using enough words... is the comparison obvious???
Coming up for air is different.

A fluid upward motion,
surfacing as lungs draw life.
Above the waterline
sunlight visits ancient skin,
then momentum takes you
... down...
to green glow silence.

(as compared to) or (yet)

sometimes,
within you is a rising,
a welling up,
willing every sinew, every fibre
to breach bounds
embrace air
and fly.
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