TITLE: El Rai (The God who sees)
By Ma. Hannah Sanchez
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God sees me as what I really am. Unfortunately for me, God sees my mistakes, my dirt, all my foolishness and my endless records of failure. More than that, God doesnít need me to act as if I can obey his word to the letter on my own. He knows what I am, what I am able to do and what I cannot do. Yet, still there are times when I try to impress God. Once I fail, and I often do, I let shame and remorse take over me. Instead of going back to him, I continue on the path that leads me away from him. I suppose that it is difficult for me to accept the fact that I will never be perfect in my walk with him. I find it easier to wallow in the mud than to find the strength to get up again. In other words, quitting on God is a tempting proposal for me.
But if I do, what will I gain? Besides that, God has a strange way of catching my attention. If itís not through an annoying inner voice that continually makes ones heart long for God, than he could certainly use circumstances and people to make me think. Itís strange how God would earnestly find ways to speak to me when he sees me as what I am. In fact, it amazes me to think that God would continually associate himself with me. Surely, flattery doesnít work with Him. My very limited good works could never justify my foolishness. All my self-righteous acts couldnít hide the truths about me from a God who could see every detail. So then, why would he still love me?
I suppose this is one of the ways God manifested his unconditional love for me. When Jesus was dying on the cross for me, I think that he was personally thinking of me. I think that as Jesus breathe his last he saw all that I am and all my filth and he love me. When I became a member of the Body of Christ, I also became a bride for Christ. God love me with his two eyes open wide. He isnít like people who get married only to find out that their partner is less than their expectations. The fact that God could see me as I am gives me the strength to get out of the mud that I am in. I donít have to waste my time hiding from Him when I can simply go to Him. I especially donít have to live a defeated life because God sees all my struggles and He will certainly do something for it. I have a God who sees.
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