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TITLE: A Helper Who Was Suitable
By Jim Oates

This is an excerpt from "Wilma My Friend My Wife",a biography.
A Helper Who Was Suitable

In Genesis 2:18-25, we have an account of how God gave Adam a helper, who was suitable for him.

God opened Adam’s side, and from a rib, fashioned the most beautiful woman who ever lived. God did not take Wilma out of my side, but He might as well have. He gave her to me and she became a part of me, (the second most beautiful woman in the world).

Scripture says, “And they shall leave father and mother and cleave unto each other and be one flesh. The man and woman were both naked and felt no shame.” Wilma and I became one flesh: we were inseparable, especially in our later years.
Many times without a word, we would anticipate what the other was thinking.

It has been eighteen months since I lost my helper who was suitable. It has been a time filled with bittersweet memories.

The day we were married, August 18, 1956, is a bit foggy in my memory. I guess I was in a state of shock that day. However, forty-five years later, that terrible, yet beautiful day she was taken from me will forever remain clear in my mind.

I was lying next to her and watching her ever so lovingly as God’s death angel came and so graciously carried her away to lay her in the arms of Jesus.

The great apostle Paul said, “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, ( 2 Cor. 5: 8 NIV ).” Yes, a very comforting thought, but still there are so many unanswered questions.

Through several illnesses and difficult times in our lives, we have come to understand the meaning of Romans 8: 28-29. “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew; He also predestinated to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first born among many brothers.” We have come to understand the purpose of all things. Wilma is now conformed into the image of Jesus. “When we see Him, we shall be like Him.”

At her passing, it seemed as though my life had been torn in half. There has been much crying, but those times are not as often now. Every now and again they still sneak up on me when I least expect them, but that is okay, it just means that I still love her and I never want to lose that. I never realized just how much I loved her, until she was gone.

The Lord has been so gracious, loving and comforting. He still allows me to have those crying times; I believe those times are good for the cleansing of hurts, and with the cleansing, comes healing. Oh, I still cry, but it does not hurt quite as much.

All that I have experienced in the last year and a half, whether the hurts or the pleasures, hard or easy times, God uses everything for His glory. At the same time, I am becoming stronger daily, both emotionally and spiritually, as I continue to place my trust in Him.

In the meantime, I have come to the realization that God is sovereign, and does what is best for all concerned, although we may be devastated at the time.

Looking back, I can see that I have been able to hone my survival skills and have been able to do things that I never thought I could do alone.

I have loved much, and lost much, but not really; I will see my Wilma again. God has not, and will not leave me empty and alone. He will bring new interests, opportunities, things and people into my life. Circumstances of life have changed and will continue to change as I continue to live in a changing world. God never changes and He will see to it that Wilma always remains a very real part of me. Part of me is in the presence of our Lord Jesus, and I will be reunited with my Wilma one day.

As I look at her bridal picture taken forty-six years ago, and she was so beautiful, healthy and strong, I am reminded of that promise, “When we see Jesus, we shall be like Him, (1Jn. 3: 2),” strong, beautiful and radiant. When I look at that picture, I believe, that is the way, she will look, when I see her again in her restored body.

Wilma has now looked into the face of her beloved Saviour, Jesus Christ.


I wrote, A Helper Who Was Suitable, about eighteen months after Wilma went to Heaven. This has been very difficult for me to write, and was the beginning of what was to turn out to be the story of her life.
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