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TRUST JESUS TODAY
I would like your critiques. This is a story for a boy about 4-5 years old, who asked for a story. Haven't written for childen is a loooooooog time. Be cruel, be kind, but please ... be ...
Out of the darkness, taking small steps, then bigger ones the caped crusader sneaked into the palace of King Moore. Knowing he has a mission to finish, he sets his mind and eyes upon his goal—find the missing treasurer of King Close.
King Close was sitting in his palace, feeling very bad because the treasure chest was supposed to be a present for his children. Now he had nothing he felt was special to give them. The chest was full of jewels, coins, and a very special map. He called on the red caped crusader, to help him. He knew that the crusader could get into places nobody else could.
King Moore was an evil person. He believed it was okay to steal, to lie, and to do whatever he wanted. He was a very mad person most of the time. He didn't take time to think about other people and wanted everything for himself. People were very afraid of King Moore. The people in his kingdom didn't dare not do what the king wanted.
The time for King Close to call the people around to him together for a celebration and to reward his children for the good things that they had done all year. He tried not to worry, but time was running short. His children knew that the king was going to reward them with something wonderful and special.
King Moore had put the treasure chest inside a glass room. The crusader silently climbed up the walls of the white stone palace. At the top there was a large porch that he entered and was able to look down at the glass room. He saw guards standing all around the outside of it. What was he to do? There was only one door to enter the room.
All of a sudden he had a brilliant idea! With quick hands and a focused mind and body, he picked up a large stone, threw out a strong rope from his miracle pocket and swung down towards the center of the closest wall of the room. Crash! Glass shattered. The guards were so surprised they ran away. Crusader quickly took the prized chest and climbed back up the wall with the rope he had come down on.
The guards started to come after him. But crusader was much quicker and got away from the evil palace.
King Close had by that time called his special friends to be with him. His children gathered, waiting for their present. Just as King Close was about to tell them about the theft, crusader entered with the treasure chest and presented it to the king.
The children were excited. Never had they seen such a great chest. And because their daddy was the king, they knew it was full of good things for them. Crusader said, "King Close, I bring you the chest of great hopes." Everybody clapped their hands and started to sing songs of joy.
Then King Close gave the chest to his children, telling them how proud he was that they always found good things to do and say to people. When they opened the chest, they found the special map. "Daddy, what is this map for?" they asked. He said, "if you will follow it, you will find the journey of joy and peace for a lifetime." But be careful because there are people who will want to try and steal it. Keep it safe. Crusader will be here to help you in times of trouble.
He looked up but crusader had already left, going on another journey to bring joy and good things to other people.
Copyright 2008 Susan Storm Smith
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