TITLE: Trusting God
By Denise Spooner
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Driving home one afternoon, my breath was taken away by enchanting evergreens wrapping their outstretched limbs around Mt. Sexton. At this moment, it was not difficult for me to trust in the Lord. Neither was it troublesome for me to avoid leaning on my own understanding. But recently, I lost my Pell grant to continue my studies at Rogue Community College. I was going to school for a Criminal Justice degree while earning my certificate in juvenile corrections and currently was my third term. I remember seeing the results on my last FAFSA that jolted my senses. As far as I could see I was at the end of the line… no more college. WOW! I had waited over twenty years to go back to school only to be dropped at a 3.6 GPA with no hope for funding to continue.
In the blink of an eye and the shedding of many tears, I was no longer engulfed in Oregon’s majestic scenery. I was lying prostrate on my face before God asking why had this happened. My trust in this same God whom I’d easily trusted in just days before, was shaken and uprooted, temporarily that is.
Softly and gently I heard a sweet voice in the depths of my soul whisper, “Just trust me.” I realized leaning on my own understanding at that moment may have felt like the most sensible thing for me to do, but it was definitely not what God was telling me to do. I had to make a choice and I needed to make it quickly.
Remembering the whole process of how God had provided the way for me to enter college at forty-four years of age, my trust in God began to build once again.
I needed to surrender all I was, and all I was to be. My life no longer belonged to me, so who was I to call the shots, or whine over changes to God’s agenda?
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.” God is worthy of my trust and I’m sure He knows what He is talking about when He tells me not to lean on my own understanding. Whether I return once more to college or not I choose to trust God and leave the understanding to Him.
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