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TITLE: In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue
By TJ Nickel
04/17/08
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This is a former Challenge Entry I was quite happy with. My goal is to change it from 750 words to about 7500 words. Before I do, I'd like critiques on it. What works and doesn't work with this style and story for you? Can you recommend places to expand on (descriptive setting, a particular character, etc.). Thanks.
In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue, Sonny didnít sing the blues. In the end of his actual life, he considered the blues his fate, something given to him by virtue of his surname and his upbringing Ė something the gods willed for him. People tell me all the time that if they could go back to any moment in time to change something bad that happened to them, theyíd refuse the offer. All their life events are compiled in such a way that removing a block would result in a loss of the whole. These people believe in fate like Sonny did at the end. I donít believe in fate; not for myself, and on account of Sonny Blue. If I could go back, I would. Iíd do it for Sonny. Iíd do it for what I didnít do for Sonny. Iíd do it even if it killed me, because sometimes the singular moments in life amount to a sum much greater than the whole. There was a sometime for Sonny, on someday long ago, before Sonny stopped believing in living and replaced it with life.

In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue, on that someday that stood at the threshold of Fate, I spoke. Instead of leaving the room aware that Iíd met an evil beyond my comprehension, I stayed and cried out. And the cry alone was all that was needed. The world of the Blueís stood still at Fateís open door and my cry prevented them from passing through. Sonnyís parents had no idea what to do with my reaction. They stood confused by an alien yawp, and I grabbed Sonny by his arm and raced him from the home.

In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue, on that someday when I chose to yawp and run with him instead of from him, Sonny was saved from the sufferings hidden from the world by calculating devils postured as caregivers of an incorrigible child. On that day, we ran to my bedroom and sat in silence for hours. In silence, I searched for the words to say to my parents upon their arrival. My search yielded poor results. The time in silence was filled by the manipulative phone call from Sonnyís mother. My jibber resulted in them loading Sonny into the car. I didnít yawp.

In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue, on that someday when I found and then lost my yawp, I ventured into the cover of darkness towards Sonnyís house. The silhouette was unmistakable. I crashed through the threshold of Providence and attacked the devil towering over Sonny.

He killed me.

Sonny lived.

In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue, on the days following that someday, Sonny enjoyed my parentís home. He lived out the remainder of his adolescence in the bedroom we showered with silence. He became me for them. I dare say he was a better me than me and they a better them for him.

In the alternate reality of the life of Sonny Blue, Sonny never sung the blues, and I didnít live my life behind a swallowed yawp.
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