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Hi, I am trying to achieve improvement in my writing skills. It would be great to have some critique comments on my newest article.
It was Mother's day; my four-year-old daughter proudly handed me a present. Wrapped in a wet load of soggy toilet paper. To make it a gift with more fancy flare, she had tied her pink shiny satin sash around it from her best dress.
"Mommy,happy day!" she exclaimed joyfully as she looked at me smiling from ear to ear, so proud of herself.
"Thank you for this Annie, you went to so much trouble making this present so pretty. Can you tell me why the toilet paper is wet?" As I asked her the question, I couldn't help thinking to myself, how cute and creative it was what she did.
"Paper fell in toilet." While she was telling me what happened her hands flew quickly up in the air, then just as rapidly as they went up, down to her sides the arms and hands went.
I decided not to ask her if she fished the tissue out of the toilet with her hands. In my mother-wisdom I knew.
With the dripping toilet water saturated gift in hand, accompanied with the wet pink sash,I opened my present. It was a naked barbie of hers with matted crispy long brown hair. I was having a hard time keeping in the laughter, it was about to burst out of me at any moment!
Managing to control myself,I gently pulled my little one into a hug,kissed her cheek, then thanked her for my barbie. I did however, have another question.
"Annie,why is she naked?" I curiously asked.
"ummm---cuz---puppy peed in my barbie box--- clothes are all wet. I made them Eve---ummm---it ate my 2 Adam heads too!" Her eyes looked at me innocently as she told me the story of the Adam's and Eve's.
"I need to get your barbie box, it is not good if there is dog pee in it." I told her as I tried to sound serious now.
"No mommy, I like playing in the Garden of Peeden with my Eve's!" she cried.
In the sweet song of motherhood there are so many humorous notes!
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