TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me, # 25 (c)
By gene hudgens
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What we are is what we make of our self. If we live our teen years refusing to follow good advice we are setting our self up for a bad fall. If we don’t study hard in school and attempt to learn as much as possible we’re setting our self up for a big fall. If we play the adult games of sex while we are teens, we are on the edge of the cliff just waiting to fall.
Almost every problem teens have is related to sex in one way or another. This is not confined to sexual intercourse. Often the way we treat our self and others is the result of how we perceive what others expect from us and what we feel we must do to be accepted.
It’s human nature to want friends. We all want a best friend and we definitely want a sweet heart friend. Too often teens do many silly things just to be popular, because popular teens seem to be having the most fun.
It’s sad and true that we learn from experience. It’s sad and true that knowledge from experience often comes too late. That’s why “effective” sex education is the most important and long-running course every teen needs to diligently concentrate on. This can prevent many hours of crying and years of anger or misery.
Every teen will have relationships. We all have relationships with every member of our family and with all of our friends as we deal with the state of affairs that exist. We all experience romantic or passionate attachments to a special some-one as we mature. We can and must ensure that all relationships are safe and pleasant at the present time, so they can produce fond memories and relationships in the future.
There are many elements and factors that are involved in ensuring a safe and enjoyable relationship, but the very most important is how we feel about our self. We must never forget that it is “self” that is paramount above all other persons, because “self” is the only one we can and should have control of. We must never for one minute allow anyone else to control us. We must love and respect our self and always demand respect from everyone else at all times. No one else ever has a right to be disrespectable to us and we must never allow any one to ever be disrespectable to us.
A real friend will never be disrespectable or try to dominate us and no one needs a friend that isn’t a real friend. Be rough and tough on your self. We all deserve this, but it will often be difficult to achieve.
We all enjoy hearing compliments and nice words of praise, but only actions have substance. It’s naturally nice if a sweetheart holds you tight and tells you that you are the most wonderful person in world. If this person is later physical, demands sexual intercourse against your desires or is disrespectable, it’s time to think and act. Be tough! Give this person ONE warning; ONE chance to get your message clear and understand that you will never tolerate this type action. Never give any one a second chance. There is no need to… if you have confidence in “self”. If “self” is important to you then move on. The sea is full of fish. There is never a shortage of sweethearts…if you have confidence in “self”.
One must keep in mind that ’birds of a feather flock together’. If you are continually hurt or disappointed, perhaps it’s time to find a new “group” of friends. Be brave and take the step and meet others in different surroundings. If you don’t smoke try associating with a friend or a group that also prefers non-smoking surroundings. I’m not saying that you should feel that you must only go to Sunday school or prayer meeting to be with a group (however, you may be very pleasantly surprised that these groups enjoy having fun also).
I am saying that no one should hang around a bar hoping to meet a friend that doesn’t drink.
This definitely requires self confidence and will likely require that you advertise your self differently and more clearly. This might require that you change your dress, appearance, and attitude. Put your self in the other person’s shoes. A girl that dresses provocative, is loud, smacks gum in public and is rude to the waiter is not likely to be the girl that a boy will choose if he prefers a girl that has good manners, is polite to everyone, and dresses with good taste. People normally feel most comfortable with people that fit into their environment. If you want to fit into an environment you must ensure that “self” is accepted into this desired environment. This requires actions on your part.
Decide what environment you want to associate in and then advertise your self as being comfortable in this environment. You will meet friends that feel comfortable in your environment.
Life is so very short even if we live a hundred years. Life is hard and is full of knocks even if we make wise decisions. If we make unwise decisions live can be shorter and can certainly overflow with knocks.
As a teen or young adult you are definitely in charge of your own life. Please remember that after you make decisions you are also forced to live with the quality of your choices. Most parents want only the very best for their children, but even with the best intentions, most parents make mistakes. There is noting more important than tons of good communication in a family. Be sure you do your part. Your best friend in time of doubt, need, or sadness is Jesus. Never forget this.
© Gene Hudgens
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