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TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me?, # 28
By gene hudgens

Chritiques appreciated
Itís never too early and weíre never too young to think about making plans.

Itís doubtful that a teen will think about who will care for mom and dad when they are old or disabled and unable to care for themselves or each other.

If you do read this article just put it in the back of your mind for now. Perhaps when youíre in your early twenties you will become aware of a situation from the news paper or from a friend about an old person in need and will remember the article.

So many people live day to day with out thinking about how awful their personal situation could if they donít make plans early enough to prepare for the future. Seldom do children have a reason to think about their parentís future. This is somewhat sad, since many children find themselves in later life caring for their parentsÖor having a bad conscience trip.

Of course I feel that all adults have the responsibility to plan for their own future. However, facts show that so very many fail this responsibility and thus force a tremendous burden upon their children.

Most children will likely try to adequately care for their elder or disabled parents, but will likely find it impossible to achieve what they would desire for their parents. There fore I feel that both the individual parent and the children are tasked with the responsibility of planning for the parentís old age.

Two heads can be better than one. Two plans can be more successful than one. Good communication between children and parents can make live easier later for all concerned.
If children and their parents communicate and plan together for the parentís old age then the plan likely has a better chance of succeeding.

Sometimes parents are very stubborn and narrow minded or perhaps honestly never think that someday they may be unable to care for them selves. Often wise children are better conditioned to see the big problems that can lie ahead.

Most often itís difficult to develop self discipline and force ourselves to save money for present needs, much less planning for many years in the future. Wise children need to be some what selfish and try to insist that parents begin adequate medical and old folkís home insurance plans as early as possible; while these plans might still be affordable. Beginning medical insurance coverage gets much more expensive the older a person gets. Older persons may not be able to get proper medical coverage if they develop medical problems.

It may be very wise for children to foot the medical insurance expenses than to gamble with their parents always being healthy. Paying for a good medical insurance coverage on parents is most likely affordable, but paying hospital and rehabilitation bills when there is no insurance is likely impossible.

The same principle applies to just caring for the everyday needs of elder parents. If your situation is such that you can care for a parent in your home or their home you are fortunate. It seems that most children today are working full time and therefore itís necessary for disabled parents to be in a care center or have a live-in nurse.

Most children want to always care for their parents, but without a plan during an emergency it may be near impossible. Again, a wise adult child will plan for the unforeseen. Special insurance programs can save everyone much grief and expense.

Common sense is always a necessity. Communication between child and parent, regardless of age, is even more necessary. Child and parent should discuss their future individual plans and future joint-plans. Child and parent must visit a good lawyer together and draw up wills and powers of attorney to insure that both parties are adequately cared for legally. Few individual, children or parents, are legal experts.

Today itís is absolutely essential that everyone be legally protected. Consider everyone a crook until they prove they arenítÖand then be sure they prove this honesty to a lawyer and to you. Donít ignorantly become party to a scam agent at some old folks home or at the medical insurance company. Be smart, be wise and play it safe. Never sign a single piece of paper from any one or any agency before being given the green-light by a trusted lawyer. Everyone needs a family lawyer.

Be strict with your self and everyone else, even other members of your family. Naturally try to have all brothers and sisters share equally with you all expenses of caring for parents. This naturally requires tremendous communication and understanding.

However, any child or individual that does not equally share in the expenses of parent care should be excluded from a single penny from the parentís estate. The person that cares for the parent is entitled to the estate. However, this definitely requires a good lawyer. Never trust promises from anyone; not even a brother or sister, or a child, or the other parent.

Establish a separate bank to insure you have a legal receipt for every penny you spend on anything (including transportation) regarding caring for anyone.

May I ask everyone that reads this article please critique it and send items for additions.
Gene Hudgens
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