Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

BACK TO
CRITIQUE CIRCLE

INSTRUCTIONS
COMPLETE
INSTRUCTIONS HERE

CRITIQUE GUIDELINES

CRITIQUE TIPS

HELP TOUR

It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST





TITLE: Untouchable
By David (The Goliath Assassin)
09/22/07
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND

This is admittedly a wierd write. It's defeatest in most respects, but it's also an integral part of the Goliath Assassin persona. It shows he has a learning curve. It also shows that he has human emotions. But does it come off real to you? Does this piece make you feel sorry for "the man inside of the can?" Would you set him up with a friend of yours, provided that he promised to keep his composure and try to have some fun?
I once had a map to the Land of Love
But there’s thieves on this road, you see...
Some cute little girl with the greenest eyes
Come took it away from me…

And it matters not how polite I am now
I’m invisible to every last one…
This grand suit of armor so easily used
To fell evil has now lost its fun…

All this armor around me… so much power surrounds me…
And I’m LONELY!!!
My own freedom confounds me, as the reasons run ‘round me…
AND I AM LOOONLEY!!!

I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!
I AM UNTOUCHABLE!
I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!!
I AM UNLOVABLE!

I awoke this morning dreading the thought
Of waking up to my own mum…
But alas, the day that I’d moved away
I’d forgotten had already come…

And I lay there to ponder the feeling I felt.
It wasn’t relief, and nor was it fright…
But I oddly found myself wondering
If morning eggs would still be worth the fight…

All this armor around me… so much power surrounds me…
And I’m LONELY!!!
My own freedom confounds me, ALL THESE REASONS, THEY HOUND ME!
AND I’M LOOONLEY!!!

I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!
I AM UNTOUCHABLE!
I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!!
I AM UNLOVABLE!

I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO JUST GET ALONG
IN THIS WORLD WITHOUT CAUSING A STIR!
I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SIT AND REST FOR AWHILE…
I KICKED MY OWN COMFORT TO THE CURB!

IT’S NOT AN EASY THING TO BE COMPLETELY COMMITTED
TO THE FRUITION OF ALL YOUR DREAMS!
BUT ONCE YOU FINALLY DO, THEN SEE, THE JOKE’S ON YOU!
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS SUCH PASSION, IT SEEMS!

IS THERE ANYONE IN THIS WORLD I CAN TURN TO
TO GIVE ME WHAT MY ARMOR DENIES?
IS THERE ANYWHERE A WOMAN WITH THE COURAGE
TO STOKE THE FLAMES OF PASSION BURNING IN MY EYES?

FOR THIS INFERNO IS FIERCE, AND IT KNOWS NO MERCY
FOR ANY OF ITS ENEMIES!
BUT IT IS NOT ETERNAL! AND THE FUEL THAT IT NEEDS
IS A PRECIOUS COMODITY!

I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!
I AM UNTOUCHABLE!
I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!!
I AM UNLOVABLE!

All this armor around me… so much power surrounds me…
And I’m LONELY!!!
My own freedom confounds me, as the reasons THEY POUND ME!!!
AND I AM LOOONLEY!!!

I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!
I AM UNTOUCHABLE!
I AM THE GOLIATH ASSASSIN!!
I AM UNLOVABLE!

Gather around me now, all you un-disciplined fools…
And have a laugh at the three-foot boy…
Who dresses in paint cans and swings around with a stick…
Saying one day, he’ll be “the savior of this troubled land”…

…For what is there ever grand… about a wanna'-be hero…
With no opportunity… to fight for a woman’s hand?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
YOUR CREDITS

LOGIN HERE




REMINDER:

REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.

VIEWING CRITIQUES:

To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.