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TITLE: Bitter Roots Will Always Produce Rotten Fruit
By Pam Frey
09/15/07
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I grew up in an alcoholic home with a very abusive father. My mother finally left him when I was about seven years old. I was such a love starved little girl that I began having sex at a very young age simply because I was desperate for someone to love me. As a result of some very difficult circumstances I became painfully aware that if I didn't deal with the hurt and bitterness towards my father my life was going to be totally destroyed. God did a deep work in my heart concerning my father and I was able to totally forgive him and release him. I had became an alcoholic myself at a very young age, but when this forgiveness for my father took place I was totally delivered from alcoholism. It was like the root that was causing that rotten fruit in my life had been completely removed and was unable to bear fruit any longer. I was free. However, I didn't realize how many deep wounds I still had from other men in my life that had hurt me deeply. I had been single for a long time so I really didn't recognize any problem. I got married almost a year ago and things went well for a while. But soon we began to have some major problems. We began to fight like cats and dogs. I realize now that I expected perfection from my husband. I expected him to never hurt me. Totally unrealistic. There's only one perfect man and His name is Jesus.

Recently the Lord put it on my heart to do an extensive study on the heart. I pulled up 53 pages worth of verses containing the word heart on my Bible software. As I began to go through them and meditate on them one by one I began to ask the Lord to show me anything that was in my heart that was causing problems in my marriage. He had put Proverbs 4:23(NASB) on my heart which says, "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life". What is in our hearts is what flows out into our lives.

Yesterday was Sunday and my husband and I went to our home church. I felt a little uneasy but just brushed it off. When we got there something began to happen to me. It was as if every hurt that every man had ever done to me all came up at once. I felt tormented. I felt angry and bitter all of the sudden. I didn't want my husband within 20 feet of me. I didn't want him to touch me or even look at me. I really didn't understand why this was happening with the intensity that it was. All I knew to do at that time was try to keep it together. I see now that my Father was answering my prayer and showing me what was in my heart that was really causing a big problem in my marriage. We went to the evening service and the gentleman that was the quest speaker called me out of the crowd. He said you have a lot of emotional pain and he prayed for me. I felt some better but I knew the job wasn't done. Before we left I knew I had to get back to that man and tell him that the pain was coming from my marriage. He said, "You have a bitter root of judgement against men". He led me in a prayer of repentance and cast that ugly spirit out. As I lay on the floor the Lord began to bring names of men and specific instances that had been very painful and caused very deep wounds. As He brought them to me I felt that I was to forgive and release them. One by one I forgave and released all the men that had hurt me and wounded my soul. I knew that I wasn't to get up until I felt the release. When it was all over I knew something had left me. I had been set free from that bitter root of judgement towards men through forgiveness and releasing the hurt to the Lord.

If you are a woman who has been wounded by a man, I encourage you to examine your heart and ask the Lord to show you if there is anything that needs to be uprooted. The root of bitterness will destroy a marriage. I was taking all my past hurt out on my husband. I was judging him by what others had done to me. Every time he would do something that would hurt my feelings or just be human and maybe not be as sensitive as he could be, to me it felt like he had just stabbed me with a butcher knife. In all actuality, he was just being a human being who makes mistakes. But because of the bitter root that was still in me it seemed like a mountain instead of the mole hill it really was. Ladies, examine your hearts and let the Lord uproot any bitterness towards men. I am speaking this to women but, of course, men can have bitterness towards women as well. So this article is for all. Let the Lord do surgery on your heart. He is the Great Physician, you know. He never misdiagnosis and His surgeries are always a 100% success. We just have to be willing to allow Him to do it.

God bless and may God heal many marriages.

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