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TITLE: Delight in Despair
By Angela Posey-Arnold
08/29/07
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Please critique--I want to submit this to a publication and I need someone to critique.
Delight in Despair

Delight in despair, what an oxymoron? Not exactly and I will tell you why. In times of despair, God is there. He is the calm in the midst of a terrible storm. Let me tell you a story.

I have shared this story with a few people; some believe it and some do not. I think it is hard for some people to believe what I am saying is true, that I have actually had encounters with angels all my life. I have known the presence of angels since I was a child. Not that I am some kind of special angel person. I just love God, His angels and His Son. That is all I know.

I don・t have any idea why angels have made themselves known to me except for the fact that so many people have always been praying for me. Their prayers and mine seem to open my heart and my eyes. I have experienced things that to some people are unbelievable. Maybe these scoffers think that I am a fairy tale writer. Or that I make this stuff up for the children that I love. They may think that I do it for fame or fortune. Oh, I say let them think what they want to think, it will drive them crazy thinking so much. It really doesn・t matter what people think. I know what I have experienced and I know that I have a message for the ones who do believe. The ones who believe Psalms 91.

Psalms 91 The Living Bible

We live within the shadow of the Almighty, sheltered by the God Who is above all gods. 2. This I declare, that He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I am trusting Him. 3 For He rescues you from every trap, and protects you from the fatal plague. 4 He will shield you with His wings! They will shelter you. His faithful promises are your armour. 5 Now you don・t need to be afraid of the dark any more, nor fear the dangers of the day; 6 nor dread the plagues of darkness, nor disasters in the morning.
7 Though a thousand fall at my side, though ten thousand are dying around me, the evil will not touch me. 8 I will see how the wicked are punished but I will not share it. 9 For Jehovah is my refuge! I choose the God above all gods to shelter me. 10 How then can evil overtake me or any plague come near? 11 For He orders His angels to protect you wherever you go. 12 They will steady you with their hands to keep you from stumbling against the rocks on the trail. 13 You can safely meet a lion or step on poisonous snakes, yes, even trample them beneath your feet! 14 For the Lord says, :Because he loves me, I will rescue him; I will make him great because he trust My name. 15 When he calls on Me I will answer; I will be with him in trouble, and rescue him and honor him. 16 I will satisfy him with a full life and give him My salvation.;

After years of court battles with my husband・s ex-wife, driven by greed, we found ourselves on the way back to the court house for yet another attack. We had tried for many years to always do the right thing for his children but nothing we ever did was good enough. The more money we paid to support the children the more their mother wanted and she would lie, even in court, to get it. The more we tried to do the right thing the worse things got.

We were dragged through court more times that I care to remember, but there comes a time when all things must come to an end. There comes a breaking point for people who are continually frustrated and mistreated and misjudged. Justice not served over and over again to the same people finally catches up. This day that we arrived at court our own lawyer sold us out and turned on us. This bad day at court my husband took all he could emotionally, he broke. He just broke. His blood pressure shot up, he stood up and fired the lawyer then he passed out. Hit the floor.

My husband・s nickname is :Bear; so that tells you some about his physique. He hit the floor with a loud thud and our lawyer ran like a scaled pig. Being the RN that I am I immediately got on my cell phone and called 911. When the ambulance arrived my husband had regained consciousness but his blood pressure was 200/180. He was confused and disoriented and refused to ride in the ambulance to the hospital. So I was going to take him. Everything happened so fast.

Sheriff・s deputies had gathered around and we started out of the room. Our lawyer just stood there while we were walking out. I could have used some help but he obviously was not going to help us.

As we were walking out of the court room I said to the lawyers, DHR and the plaintiff, :This needs to stop, see what your greed has done.; I suppose I was talking pretty loudly and a deputy grabbed my arm. When he did, my husband was behind me and he saw the deputy grab me and in his state of despair, confusion and ultimate frustration he hit the deputy. That is really not a good thing to do.

That is when everything broke loose. The next thing I knew there were deputies everywhere. They sprayed mace in my husband・s face and had him down on the floor. They picked him up and threw him down the stairs. By this time I was in the elevator crouched down in the corner, calling Jesus. I screamed, :JESUS;. I needed Him right then.

The doors closed on the elevator and I was still crouched down in the corner trying to keep from getting hit in all of the violence around me. I looked up and there on the elevator was a sheriff・s deputy and a man. My eyes were immediately drawn to the sweet face of this man. His hands were extending towards me and helping me up. He had the sweetest face, old overalls and a dirty baseball cap. The next thing I knew he was holding me in his arms, actually holding me up. He smelled so sweet and I felt so safe, right in the middle of violence and fear, I felt peace. He held me close to him all the way down in the elevator and out of the courthouse door.

I calmed down, and actually breathed. I stood there watching the police violently throw my sick husband in the back of the police car to take him to jail. How could anything be any worse?

I looked for the man that had helped me, he was gone. He was just gone. But, the peace and comfort he had brought to me remained. In the midst of the despair I had a sense of peace that everything was going to be alright. I knew that Jesus was with me and with my husband.

I really did not think much about the mysterious sweet smelling man on the elevator until the next day. My mother-in-law was also on the elevator that day. The deputy knocked her down and tore her shirt and she had bruises to prove it. I asked her about the man with the overalls on in the elevator and she said, :Angela, the only people on that elevator were me, you and that deputy.; She did not even see him. But I did. I can still remember how he smelled. I know exactly who he was and Who sent him to help me that day.

I wish I could tell you a happy ending about all the court battles we faced for those few years, but basically we were cheated out of thousands of dollars. And a family was torn completely apart. My husband・s children were turned completely against him and they continue to be estranged. But in the midst of it all, I feel peace. My husband feels peace because we know that no matter what life brings, God is there. God is our refuge and He will shelter us with His mighty wings, and if need be, He will send His angels to help us up when we can・t move on our own.
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