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TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me? #10 (c)
By gene hudgens

Anyone can be any thing they want to be with a dream, but we just can't sit around and be only a dreamer.

It takes a combination of brains and hard work to make our dreams come true. We must be careful and not take chances. After the fact is too late.

Clear thinking and planning for the future is extremely important for all teens. After-the-fact is too late to prevent problems. Unfortunately too many teens experience problems out of ignorance because their parents failed to teach them how to avoid many problems.

The area that causes teens the most drastic problems is the area dealing with sexual issues. Think! How would you feel if you were a fourteen year old pushing your baby in a buggy and your friends drive by honking, yelling, and having good ole teen fun. Most likely you would prefer to be in the car with your friends having fun. You did not think clearly when you agreed to have unprotected sex with your boy friend. After-the-fact is too late.

Some progress has been made in the past few years dealing with teaching teens effective sex education. It would be wonderful if each of you are learning effective sex education from your parents. Unfortunately effective sex education is still too often not taught by parents. Too often the sex education taught in homes is still antiquated and false.

For any of you to be taught antiquated and false information because of illogical religious doctrine…or because it has been done that way for generations is just plain dumb, mute, voiceless, silent, speechless, mum, wordless, dense, blockheaded, fatheaded, numskull, thick, useless…and just plain stupid. This is really Insult To Injury…A Grievous Mistake. Each of you deserve better protection through education, but you may find it necessary to personally seek effective sex education.

Today more and more of your peers are personally seeking effective sex education. Please talk with your school counselor or school nurse, your doctor, or go to the web and learn the real truth. Talk with your friends about sex and together learn the facts.

Each of you will experience peer pressure. Always think and believe that you are the boss! Its OK to be selfish and want to enjoy your youth years and have good times with friends. Its OK to respect yourself and listen to your heart. You don’t own anyone else anything, especially sex. Its OK to say to anyone that you’re not ready for sex. Its OK to tell anyone that your goal is not to have sexual intercourse before marriage. No one else is ever responsible for your actions…you are the boss. You owe this to "self".

Do you want to finish high school and perhaps go to college or do you really have a desire to travel and see the world. Its OK to have dreams, but you’ll likely never fulfill your dreams if you get pregnant. When we act smart our dreams today make tomorrow better.

If your steady date is pressuring you to have sex begin making changes to reduce the pressure. Date several different people instead of just one. Associate with more friends that also feel its OK not to have sex.

Before going on a date prepare yourself for what might happen. Practice what to say if you are pressured to have sex. Decide before hand just how far you will allow the petting, kissing, and hugging to go. Understand that older dates likely have more experience and techniques and more tricks to push you ‘over the edge’…at the moment your passions are the hottest, your sexual desires are strongest, and your resistance is the weakest.

Think ahead and always carry more than one condom and your spermicidal back-up birth control…just in case you do decide to have sexual intercourse. At least have the will power and clear mind to excuse your self and effectively utilize the spermicidal back up…and then insure that you properly put the condom on his penis. Never have any naked body contact with your partner before doing this.

Sexual intercourse is likely not the best choice for sexual satisfaction on a date. For sure, there is no excuse for having an unwanted baby. However, if you aren’t thinking, date pressure can add to the ignorance of the moment, which can result in a lifetime of misery and guilt. Remember that masturbation is the logical alternative to sexual intercourse and offers the satisfaction of climax without any worry of getting pregrant or catching an STD.

No one can deny that abstinence is the only completely safe sex. A sexual relationship does not have to be part of your teen life style. Even one experience of unsafe sex can be extremely dangerous.

Sex will never give you self-esteem or real self-worth, love, commitment, security, friendship or emotional affection. You do, however, take physical and emotional risks when you are sexually involved.

Sex involves feeling (emotions) and thoughts, but it can not fill the gap for good communications. Before considering a sexual relationship, decide if it is emotionally right for you. Sex can be for all the wrong reasons such as:

*To fit in because your friends are sexually active
*To become pregnant for your own selfish reasons
*To prove to someone that you are an adult
*To make another person jealous or envious
*To get attention from friends or parents
*To manipulate a partner into giving you something you want
*To avoid being alone

Each night before going to sleep…pray and ask Jesus to guide you every single day.
© Gene Hudgens
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