TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me? #8 (c)
By gene hudgens
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Dating safety and common sense are important for both boys and girls, but especially for girls. Go slow! Take one step at a time and gradually learn about your new friend. Talk at school or on the phone. Go out with a group of friends to a public place the first few times you are together. Go for walks, go on a picnic, have an ice cream at the mall, or enjoy a movie.
Insure that you clearly define what time your parents can expect you home. Be sure to tell a friend and your parents the name of the person you will be with and where you are going. This is just plain smart and you should not feel that anyone is treating you like a baby. Its for your safety.
Your transportation plans can fall apart anytime. Perhaps a friend drives you to a disco with the promise of driving you home, but this friend gets drunk. Your plan just changed, because you’ll never get into a car when the driver has had even one drink. Therefore you need to phone your parents or take a taxie home. Have taxie money with you all the time.
Young girls watch older girls dress and act grown-up and sexy just to attract boys…and its human nature to want boys to desire them. Its important to realize that the way any girl dresses or acts can put her into dangerous situations. A girl of any dating age wants to feel good about her looks and wants to gain attention. Often boys and men take the provocative dress to indicate that the wearer wants more than just stares. When a girl comes across that she is mature, experienced and wants some action, a mature experience male may just give her more action than she ever dreamed of.
When a young teen girl feels that she needs to be a fake to attract boy, she needs to sit in front of a mirror and talk to herself. She needs to explain to the girl in the mirror that she has stable, honest, genuine, desirable qualities other than “just” physical sex appeal.
Studies show that since 1960 parents spend 11 hours a week “less time” with their teens. Its time teens confront their parents and demand that they act more responsible and fulfill their responsibility as parents. Reverse the strategy. Try explaining to parents that you need an adult to talk with, share time with, and get answers from.
You will never need adult (parental) advice more than during these dangerous teen years. You need straight, honest, logical advice right now. If you can not get it from your parents then talk with a school counselor or doctor. You need someone that will teach you effective sex education, so that you don’t ruin your health or die.
Its true that the only 100% safe sex attitude and action is abstinence. Its also true that very few teens will 100% abstain…even after making a pledge to do so. Most reliable non-partisan studies clearly show its more important to educate teens how to protect themselves if they choose to have sex, than to illogically rely on teen restraint and abstinence.Young teens most often have little restraint and there fore are emotionally unable, under excitement and stress, to abstain.
Of course its better to reserve sexual intercourse for the institution of marriage, but historically most people have had sexual intercourse before marriage. Today it is much more dangerous to have unprotected sexual intercourse than every before. The chance of pregnancy is likely the same, but today Chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and other STDs and AIDS is at epidemic high.
Today many teens are listening and avoiding sexual intercourse only to retain virginity. They are ignorantly unaware that unprotected vaginal sex is not the only unprotected and unsafe sex.
Today its clear that STDs and risky “anything but vaginal intercourse” are wide spread among teens. Girls 15-19 have higher rates of gonorrhea than any other age group…and many of these girls go to the doctor thinking they have strep throat. They really have gonorrhea of the throat, because they were NOT taught that oral sex is unprotected sex. It was preached that sexual intercourse is to be avoided, but they were not given effective sex education. Others have gonorrhea of the anus because they felt that anal sex was an OK substitution for vaginal intercourse…but were not educated that it is still unprotected and dangerous sex unless a condom is used.
Many and perhaps most teens don’t feel that their substitute sexual behaviors are real sex. Many teens feel that anal sex is abstinent behavior. Many teens don’t feel that oral sex is sex. They were ignorantly taught abstinence-only without being educated on the use of contraceptives. Certainly condoms are not 100% safe, but when used properly they offer near 100% safety.
If you are feeling that you are ready to have sex its time to ask your mother or a nurse to explain to you how to use condoms and spermicidal. Encourage your parents to talk to you about sex.
Buy yourself a good book on sex education. Discuss sex with your friends. Ask them how they feel about masturbation. Read about masturbation. Masturbation is sex. It is a totally satisfying sex that is abstinence from sexual intercourse without denial of sexual satisfaction. Masturbation is clean, safe, and is the Logical Alternative to Sexual Intercourse.
Major religions (including Christian) now agree that Genesis 38:8-10 can no longer be used to scare little children into believing that God will kill them if they masturbate. O'nan was not masturbting. He just did not want to make his dead brother's wife pregnant. The scriptures were interpreted incorrectly. Talk with Jesus every day about your life and ask Him for advice.
Be wise teens. LEARN TO THINK!
(c) gene hudgens http://www.genehudgens.com
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