TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me? #6 (c)
By gene hudgens
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Dating is important. We learn about ourselves and about others. Dating should be a learning experience as well as a fun time. Its wise to date as many different people as possible, because you always learn something from everyone.
Dating can be a time when we learn what kind of person we want to spend a lot of time with (like in marriage some day). Never forget that someday you will likely desire to get married. So learn from your dating experiences what you definately want in a husband or wife...or difinately DON'T want in a husband or wife.
Choosing this "life-time mate" will be the most important decision anyone can ever make. From this ONE DECISION will come 90% of all of your happiness OR misery.
In other words consider dating as many different people as possible. Just have fun, share good times, compare each date, learn how different each date really is; just have a good time and avoid a serious relationship. Our prescious teen years are for fun and learning; not for serious relationships.
Any and every relationship needs to make both partners feel good. This definitely requires respect and trust on the part of both. Don’t expect every date to be an experience you want to repeat. No repeats if you don’t have a good time.
Even if you date someone for a longer time you may feel that you are not satisfied. Then, right then, is the time to stand in front of the mirror, smile, and say to your self, “I’m not satisfied and I’m too young to be tied down”.
If this relationship isn’t working for you…move on…you don’t owe anyone anything. A bad relationship seldom gets better…even with promises. It might sound cruel, but there are too many fish in the sea to waste your valuable youth with a person that isn’t making you satisfied and happy.
Be hard on yourself and more selective each time you decide to date a different person. Avoid getting into a rut and dating those that have the same traits you did not like in the last date. Develop strict goals and standards.
People will normally not change. What you see in a person today is likely what you will see years from now.
Respect your date’s feelings, but make it clear from “minute-one” what your feelings are about any and every situation as soon as it arises. A worth while date will always respect your values, goals, and feelings.
For sure set your “no no” goals. Any date that is easily angered, gets extremely jealous, must always be in control, uses verbal abuse, uses physical force, drinks while driving or drives recklessly is a no no! Have zero tolerance for any emotional abuse such as threats, insults, broken promises, and lies. Learn early to be strict with yourself.
Pretent to always be brave, even if you aren't. No one can tell the difference. Your spirituality, mental health, and physical health are the most important issues in your life. In other words you owe your desires and decisions to "self". You never "owe" anyone else anything. "Self" must always be #1.
Remember that neither of you owes the other anything except a “thanks”. No one ever owes anyone sex!…never!…ever!
Insure that your date clearly understands your desires, dislikes, and how you want to be treated and how you do not want to be treated. One warning is enough…three is one too many. “Go fishing!”
You are your own boss, so never be bossed by another person. Dating is susposed to be a fun time and you both deserve to be having fun. Having fun walking together, holding hands, talking, making plans, hugging, kissing, dancing, talking on the phone, cuddling in the movies, attending group activities together, and doing little thing for each other can be a full-time fulfilling dating relationship.
If you’re not having fun…you're out with the wrong one!
Avoiding sexual intercourse in a dating relationship will give you both a better opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of each other as friendship grows.
Its true that many young people are having sex, but its also true that many others are not even thinking about it. Many teens choose not to have sex and their friends still respect them. Having sex doesn’t make you popular or improve your relationship. There is no need to try to prove anything to yourself or anyone else.
Life isn’t a game. Relationships aren’t a game. Sex isn’t a game. Having babies certainly isn’t a game. Marriage certainly isn’t a game.
Enjoy every single day of your youth!
Enjoy every day like it is the last day of your life!
Talk with Jesus everyday. He will advise you if you ask Him.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.