TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me? #5 (c)
By gene hudgens
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Entire books have been written on this subject of relationships. The older we get the more experience we will have to better handle and deal with people…that’s what it is all about.
Most relationships are tasking and difficult because each of us are individuals and different. However, each day that we practice skills and have experiences the more we prepare
ourselves to balance our own immediate needs with longer-range needs of a relationship.
Relationships are about emotional connections. We form these bonds when we learn to share and connect from the heart with emotions and feelings. This requires understanding that the other person has feelings just as we do. This requires sensitivity for that invisible line that defines our boundaries and the other person’s boundaries. This means that we must always respect the other person and always demand respect in return.
Its likely that others have desires similar to ours. We don’t like to be bossed and likely others don’t either.
Most people want to be happy, popular and loved, but no one should expect to achieve this all of the time. It takes give and take in all areas of a relationship to properly feed emotions and feelings.
That’s why its so important to be careful and selective when developing a relationship. We all learn this wisdom through trial and error, but it can be very miserable and heartbreaking.
To most teens, having a date is that “thing” that shows the world that they are no longer little children. They are now in the ‘big group’ like the older teens and can now make choices and ask whom they find interesting and fun to go on a date. Adolescent dating is more about experimenting with new romantic feelings than with any deep emotions of deep love or intimacy.
Dating relationships can be fun and exciting, but they can also be very confusing and dangerous, especially when we first begin dating. It is so important to realize that anything and everything we do is because we want to do it.
We should never feel that we are obligated for any reason. Never allow anyone, even a best friend, to pressure us into anything. Try hard to avoid feeling that we must start dating just to be accepted. If we feel desperate to have a girl or boy friend, we become the beggar and not the chooser.
Every dating relationship should offer both parties positive benefits and the list should grow the longer the relationship lasts. It should be fun to be together. Both parties should feel that they are with a real friend that will show understanding, support, and companionship. It should make you both just plain happy to be with each other.
Sexual activity should never be a requirement in any dating relationship. Yet, no adult should fight human nature and waste time preaching to teens that they can not have sex.
Positive adult advice should never include the word ‘never’ or phrase ’God forbids'.
The ideal situation might well be when sexual intercourse is reserved for the institution of marriage. However, this ideal situation is an unenforceable rule. No human or religion has ever in history been able to enforce this belief. Since the beginning of recorded history philosophers have written that no one can argue with human nature.
Desiring sexual satisfaction at any age (from birth to death) is human nature and it is part of God’s plan. Remember God did Create us humans and He instilled His plan in our DNA millions of years ago. We would be real hypocritics to profess that we believe God is perfect and then turn around and say He goofed when He made the desire for sexual satisfaction the second strongest desire all humans have. Only the desire to satisfy thirst and hunger is stronger.
If God the Creator who created the universe and all living things…had wanted sex reserved only for marriage, He could certainly have made a minor notation in his Plan. He didn’t. Today all humans who might want sex might not want to be married. God expects all of us to carefully make wise decisons.
Wise adults will therefore do what is important in today’s world. They will educate their children to protect themselves if they do decide to have sexual intercourse and they will begin teaching “effective sex education” to every child on earth to protect all children.
Wise parents will make “masturbation” a house-hold word. Sexual intercourse is stupid sex for children. Very few teens will even consider abstinence. Masturbation, however, is the logical alternative for sexual intercourse. It is 100% safe, it’s clean, it can be enjoyed anywhere and anytime and its equally enjoyable as sexual intercourse, if not more so…and no one needs to ever worry about STDs or pregnancies.
*Genesis 38:8-10 can no longer be used by Clergymen and parents to scare little children who masturbate.
Wise adults will teach everyone that condoms must be used each and every time one engages in sexual intercourse...if they want maximum protection from most STDs and unplanned pregnancies. Almost every case of AIDS is the result of unprotected sex. Wise parents will encourage condom use and (insure that condoms are available). They will encourage other birth controls to prevent unwanted pregnancies, which teens certainly don’t need.
Parents have the responsibility to offer acceptable advice… if they really want to safely and effectively raise their children.
Jesus Christ is waiting for you to ask Him for help.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.