TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me? #4 (c)
By gene hudgens
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We have discussed that when a casual friendship becomes more than just a friendship it is becoming a relationship. A relationship will include a more in-depth level of commitment to the other person that the casual friendship and often a casual friendship elevates to a sincere relationship.
Regardless of our age we are all concerned about our friendships and relationships, because almost every hour of our lives is spent interacting with others in some way. We are seldom isolated or alone. We are each different from anyone else. Everyone has differences. It isn’t important for us to agree with the way another person acts or behaves, but we must decide if we want to be around the particular person.
Without thinking about it, we all have major relationships with our parents, sisters, brothers, and some friends. We all learn to deal with classmates, team members, coaches, counselors, nurses, and teachers.
Wise and mature girls want a boy to be a trusted friend before being a boyfriend…and wise and mature boys want a girl to be a trusted friend before being a girlfriend.
"In a relationship, like a business, remember that the most important thing is trust."
Hopefully we learn quickly that good communication is the most important part of any healthy friendship or relationship. We must communicate in order to feel comfortable with each other and decide what we enjoy doing together. Healthy friendships and relationships are based on trust and honesty.
It isn’t unusual or unhealthy for disagreements to occur in every relationships. Calmly talking about the disagreement and understanding the importance of getting along will most often make a relationship stronger. We learn to respect each other more for having worked out a problem rather than giving up without trying. Both parties must feel good about their selves, because self-esteem is important in any successful relationship.
We must always be proud, strong and believe in yourself. We must speak up, be confident of our ideas and never hesitate to express our opinion.
A wise healthy relationship is about selecting and not necessarily being selected. There is never a need to sell yourself short or degrade yourself. Never beg for friendship or love. Remer that beggars can’t be choosers.
We must always feel safe and truly enjoy being around this person we want to be with… without feeling we are being pressured in any way. This mutual understanding and trust takes time and will not happen in hours or days. Be alert and listen to your feelings. If after a reasonable time you still don’t feel safe or you feel that something is lacking, you may be in a unhealthy relationship.
Learn to be hard on yourself, demand honesty and respect from the other person, and have the brains and guts to terminate any relationship early in the experimenting stage, rather than prolong any misery and hurting inside. Never hesitate or be ashamed to ask advice from a trusted adult.
If sincere discussions don’t solve our doubts or problems…we must run, not walk, from this relationship.
Life is too short and there are too many fish in the sea…to every waste time on a useless person or bad relationship.
Learn while you are young to have many friendships and relationships, so you can learn from experience how to improve and hold good relationships later.
Humans aren’t perfect, so don’t waste time looking for a perfect person. Don’t waste time on a person with major imperfections, but learn to deal with and accept minor imperfections. Look for the most desirable attributes and build on them. Younger or older brothers and sisters will normally offer a school for learning about and dealing with imperfections.
Lewis Dunning wrote, “What life means to us is determined not so much by what life brings as by the attitude we bring to life, not so much by what happens to us as by our reaction to what happens.”
Learn to make every day count. Try to be healthy and happy every day.
Your most important friendship and relationship should be with Jesus.
© Gene Hudgens
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