TITLE: If Only My Mom or Someone Had Told Me? #3 (c)
By gene hudgens
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"Sometimes I feel so alone and depressed and I just want a friend."
I already realize that my life is strange and different. Mom tries to explain that all girls feel the same as I do and that it's normal during these pre-teen, puberty, and early teen years. She often reminds me that these are definitely the most difficult years for any child and all parents.
Mom honestly tries to explain that I will often feel that all parents are mean and just don’t understand anything. She smiles and relates that all parents often feel that all children are lazy, disrespectful, rebellious, emotional, manipulative, and awkward.
Dad gave his little class as he explained that parents love their children so much that they are often over protective. He explained that sometimes parents don't care for the friends we have if they feel our friends will hurt us in any way. He explained that parents may not give us everything we want and demand and that we must try to be patient and understand that parents have a tremendious responsibility.
My teacher joked to our class that if we and our parents successfully survive these difficult years then all of us will be able to handle anything in life.
Everyone must remember that love includes discipline as well as caring. Dad explained that wise parents need to know where their children are every minute and who the friends are and who the friends’ parents are, and where they live. If we are wise in this extremely unsafe world, we will understand that their knowing and caring can insure our safety.
My teacher said, "We can really surprise our parents if we give them a big hug after they discipline us."
As we mature we will better understand and agree that there is nothing wrong with parents demanding obedience and expecting self-discipline. Deep down we will feel that parents need to set limits, even if we do not always agree with the limits set.
"I recently learned that it is easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble."
Learn early to negotiate with parents. Wise parents are honest and fair…and expect the same in return. Wise parents demonstrate good examples and bad examples. This builds a trusting relationship. If youth are wise and meet parents half way its probable that a trade-off or workable business-deal can be on going.
I read that when parents demand good school study-habits… and we try to make good grades, we might ask that the trade-off be that we can have a personal phone in our bedroom or extended “curfew” hours when dating. I tried it and it worked.
My teacher explained that when trust and a partnership exist between child and parent then trusting communication is easy and welcomed.
Our school nurse explained that this is very important as our interest in sexual issues increases. We need to at least open one ear to our parent’s ‘preaching’ and actually ask mom and dad for advice rather than first asking a friend. This is the time to bombard parents with all of our questions regarding any and every tiny question and issue of sex. Most parents know more on this issue than our friends.
Education is one of the most important words in your precious life. Parents educate us when they teach, discipline, instruct, school, train, cultivate, nurture, brief, explain, inform, coach, guide, and tutor.
Each of us educates ourself when we study, get, memorize, discover, ascertain, catch on, determine, find out, hear, see, tumble, unearth, master, cultivate, make oneself master of something, learn a trade, acquire knowledge of or skill in by study and experience.
I try hard to be appreciative and sensitive to my parent’s teaching. I strive to never be ignorant, illiterate, uneducated, unlearned, unlettered, and untutored. I want to become more educated each day, obtain schooling whenever possible, continually receive training by formal instruction and supervised practice, especially in a skill, trade, or profession.
I honestly practice standing in front of a mirror each morning and saying to myself out loud, “I am my own best friend and I will never do anything to hurt myself.”
I promised my Sunday School teacher that I will strive to develop mentally and morally. I tell myself each day that I will develop a sense of perception to appreciate and enjoy the philosophy dealing with the nature of beauty, art, and what is pleasing and responsive to my senses; this includes a pleasing appearance or effect.
I read that wise parents will attempt to educate themselves to our needs. This might well take some doing, since they, themselves, as children, perhaps never had a workable trade-off relationship with their parents.
Many parents are shocked when children demand privacy. My older friend explained that this is a very sentisive issue and that children must be patient and teach parents by reaching them thought courteous communications and a trade-off relationship. She explained that we must constantly exhibit and emphasize our good traits so our parents will be proud of what we and they have accomplished.
Unfortunately too many youth do not have a beautiful trade-off-relationship with their parents. Those of us that do are extremely lucky. Try hard, make your parents proud of us…and always honor our parents.
Jesus understands everything. Talk with Him every day. He wants to help us.
© Gene Hudgens
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