It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:
1) Post your first piece.
2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.
3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.
4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.
TRUST JESUS TODAY
Critiques will be appreciated
Adventures of Ron Huckleberry...#11 Ron is stuck under the smoke house
One day Ron is discussing marbles with Auntie. “Auntie, how many years have people been playing marbles?”
She smiles and says, “I guess that the game is hundreds of years old.”
A few days later Grandmother is telling Granddaddy about an article in the morning paper. Some youngsters found an old Civil War pistol under an old building on their grandparents farm. Ron listens and suddenly has an idea. He remembers Granddaddy saying that the original rooms of this old house and the old smoke house date back to the Civil War era.
Ron decides to explore under the house in hopes of finding a pistol too. The house is built high enough off of the ground that it is not difficult to crawl around under the house. The next day he takes Granddaddy’s large flash light and begins to explore under the house. It is a bit scary but he finally manages to check out the entire area under the house. He is disappointed that he doesn't find a treasure.
That after noon he decides to explore under the smoke house. This smoke house is not high off the ground. In fact, three sides of the little house are so low that Ron can not crawl under. The end nearest the big house is higher because the ground slants a bit, which requires the smoke house at that end to be on higher stones.
Ron shines the light under the house from all sides, but sees nothing except many smaller rocks scattered all under the smoke house. As he begins to squeeze under the house he is excited when he quickly finds a marble. He examines it closely with the flash light and suddenly has a need to go to the store and show his marble to his friends.
They are shocked to see such a strange and beautiful marble and Thomas, the oldest wants to buy it for a quarter. Ron does not sell it, but later shows it to Daddy Williams.
Daddy Williams examines it and says it seems to be a red quartz stone. “Ron, I suggest that you use it for his shooter and see how it works. Be sure to show it to your aunt tonight.” He says.
Ron returns to Granddaddy’s house and phones Auntie, but she isn't home.
He decides to take another look under the smoke house. Grandmother hands Ron the flash light. “I put new batteries in the flash light, since the others were very weak.” She is thinking that Ron is still exploring under the big house. If she knew he was going under the smoke house she would have forbid it.
Anyway, Ron again squeezes under the little house and with the new batteries he can see to the far end. He continues to squeeze forward. It is much too low to crawl. He carefully examines every inch as he moves forward on his stomach. He moves each of the smaller stones and pushes them aside so he can squeeze forward more. He sees another marble lying in the open. He is excited, as he places this marble into his pocket.
He slowly moves the light beam from left to right and is again excited as he sees another marble off to the left. He is now next to the center brace-stone and must squeeze between two other stones that were lying close to the center stone. He is pushing his foot against one of the two stones to get to the marble, when his foot slips and gets stuck between the two stones.
He tries everything to free his foot, but there is not an inch of space to turn his body so that he can lift or turn his foot to free it. “Oh no, I can’t move my foot an inch.“ He is thinking as he begins to cry. He is suddenly scared, but tries not to panic. He lies there continuing to try everything to free his foot, but it is hopeless. He realizes he is trapped under the smoke house. He knows he is in trouble with Granddaddy, Grandmother, Auntie…every one. But he knows he has no choice except to yell for help.
The smoke house is near the far corner of the back of the house…near the out-house (toilet). He yells as loud as he can for a long time, but no one hears him. After a long time he hears Grandmother calling for him. He yells at the top of his voice and finally Grandmother hears him. As she nears the smoke house she suddenly realizes Ron is under this little building.
She excitedly yells, “ Ron, tell me exactly where you are. Are you hurt?”. She can not believe it when Ron explains his situation.
“Ron, don’t move. I’ll get help. Just be very still. Don’t move.” She insists.
She rushes to tell Granddaddy. Granddaddy rushes to check out the situation. He realizes he is unable to help. “Granddaddy, I’m sorry. Please don’t be too mad.” Ron begs.
“Young man, I may tan your bottom tomorrow, but right now we have a serious situation. This old house could fall apart on top of you. For goodness sake listen carefully. Don’t move a muscle . Don’t try to free your foot. Just lie very still and we’ll get you out.”
Grandmother phones Auntie, but she still isn't home, so she rings the telephone operator. She explains the situation and the operator tells her that help will be there shortly.
Sure enough with in minutes neighbors are arriving. They all rush directly to the smoke house and talk with Ron, but so far no one knows what to do. They need the volunteer firemen.
When Grandmother rings the operator she is told that the firemen are on their way. The first fireman on the scene realizes that the best solution is to have several strong men on hand to lift the little house.
Again the phone operator assures everyone that strong men are on the way. Within ten minutes there are several farmers and workers standing by the smoke house. The fireman in charge suggests that the men surround the smoke house and that ample stones or logs be found so they can be used if necessary to support the little house when it was lifted.
When all is in place he directs that the end of the house from which Ron first entered be carefully lifted and that supports be put into place. He is soon directing the smallest man present to squeeze under and try to free Ron’s foot.
All goes well and with in minutes Ron is pulled into the day light. Ron is happy to be out from under the house, but he is very embarrassed to have caused so much hassle.
Half of Little Town is packed around this smoke house. This is the most excitement they have experienced in weeks.
The phone operator, who has joined the crowd, remarks, “We need to keep an operator on duty just for Ron’s safety.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.
To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.